Where Have All The Villains Gone?
by Ryan Phelan
Summary: Why are villains everywhere suddenly becoming lawabiding citizens?  One villain searches for answers with the help of some unlikely allies.  FINAL CHAPTER IS UP! FINALLY!
1. Find a Happy Place

**Disclaimer: Dr. Drakken, Shego, and all other KP characters that may appear in this story are owned by the almighty Disney Corporation. I would never take credit for something that isn't mine (especially when the rightful owners could squash me like a bug in court). However, I do take credit for this story. It's been knocking around in my head for a long time, throwing crazy parties and making long distance phone calls, so I just had to get it out! If you continue to read beyond this bold print it will be stuck in your head and be your problem…you have been warned… **

Where Have All The Villains Gone?

Shego lay stretched out on a deck chair on the balcony of the lair, an iced tea on the table beside her and a romance novel in her hand. The ocean lapped softly against the wall below her and seagulls floated lazily overhead. _These past two weeks have been heaven,_ she thought as she squirted sunscreen into her hand and rubbed it into her arm. _I wish Dr. D. would have a nervous breakdown more often._

It hadn't come as a complete surprise. Over the past few months Drakken had been a man possessed, churning out one take-over-the-world-scheme after another. No sooner did one fail, he was back at the drawing board. He began skipping meals, and then sleep; for days at a time he would remain hunched over his desk furiously scribbling in his notebooks, pausing only occasionally to gulp his coffee. His plans grew crazier and crazier until finally, late one night, Shego decided to confront him.

He took no notice of her as she entered his office and stood beside him. "What 'can't fail' plan are you working on this time, Dr. Drakken?" She asked.

"It's ingenious! So much so that I amaze even myself!" Drakken said a little too happily, his bloodshot eyes locked on his work.

Sensing her boss was hanging by a thread, Shego decide to try the soft approach. "How does it work?" She asked.

"I don't think someone of your oh-so-average intelligence could even begin to understand it," Drakken snapped. "And even if you could you would be so overwhelmed by its amazing genius your brain would lock up and render you catatonic! And I hate cats!"

"Oooookay. Um, I appreciate your concern, but I'm willing to take that risk," Shego said.

"Well, I suppose I could slowly walk you through it," Drakken sighed. He pointed to a crude block-shaped drawing. "This is the geocentric gravitron immobilizer. It manipulates the center of gravity of any object I choose, making it 50 times heavier than normal. Do you follow me so far?"

"Uh-huh," Shego replied patiently.

"I plan to alter the center of gravity of every muffin on Earth, making it impossible for the average Joe Slob to pick it up! And then the world will be mine! HA HA HA HA HA!" Drakken laughed so hard he doubled over.

"Um, Dr. D.? How exactly will making muffins really heavy help you take over the world?" Shego asked.

"Don't you get it? People won't be able to eat their morning muffins! This will create a nutritional deficiency that will leave them weak and vulnerable and cranky! They will be unable to do their jobs! The economy will collapse! Nation after nation will descend into anarchy and chaos! And from the ruins of civilization a new world order shall rise! MY NEW WORLD ORDER!" By now Drakken was standing on his desk, hands raised in triumph.

"But what about the people who don't eat muffins?" Shego asked. "I mean, this plan won't affect them, so…"

Drakken shot her a death glare. "I knew you wouldn't understand! True genius is never appreciated in its own time! But I'll show you! I'LL SHOW YOU ALLLLLLL!"

"Right, right, I'm sure you will," Shego said quickly. "But don't you think you should take a break? Get some sleep? The world will still be here in the morning, so there's no rush to…"

"Wrong again! Did Newton sleep when he discovered gravity? Did Einstein sleep when he discovered the theory of relativity? Time waits for no one, especially not a middle-aged genius like me! They're out there, you know."

Drakken jumped down and went back to his work. "Who's out there?" Shego prompted.

Drakken slammed his pencil down. "THEM!" He bellowed. "The young, hip evil geniuses who are working on their own plans for world domination! I need to stay two steps ahead of them at all times! No snot-nosed Johnny-come-lately is going to take what's rightfully mine!"

"And you came up with a great plan," Shego said gently. "But it can wait until after you get some rest."

She grabbed his arm, but Drakken shook her off. "NO! Now leave me alone! I need to triangulate the thingy ma bob!"

"Alright, that's it!" Shego snapped, grabbing his arm again. The time for diplomacy was over. "Dr. Drakken, you are going to bed this instant!"

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you….KIM POSSIBLE!"

"What?!" Shego asked, taken aback.

"Very clever, disguising yourself as Shego, but not clever enough! You think you can just waltz in here and undermine my operation…WELL THINK AGAIN!"

Drakken took a swing at Shego, who grabbed his wrist and flung him to the floor with minimal effort. "Okay, the fact that you even considered taking me on proves you need a break," Shego told the moaning heap on the floor. She pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket. "This came in the mail today. It's a brochure for a new luxury resort for overworked basket cases like you. You will go to this resort and enjoy their deluxe two-week ultra relaxation package or I will be forced to hurt you. A lot. Get it?"

"Yes mommy," Drakken groaned.

She packed him off to Paradise Valley Resort the following morning. It was as much a vacation for Shego as it was for Drakken; for two weeks she worked on her tan and caught up on her reading. But now she was beginning to feel restless and ready to take on the world again. Much to her surprise, she was actually looking forward to Drakken's return. Not that he would ever know that; it was just another secret she would take to her grave.

"SHEGO!" A familiar voice bellowed from within the lair. Moments later Shego heard the sound of his footsteps, growing louder and louder as he approached. She rose from her deck chair to greet him and was stunned by the person who walked through the door. Instead of his usual blue lab coat, Drakken was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts. Sunglasses and a floppy straw hat completed the look. His skin appeared to be a darker shade of blue, which Shego could only guess was a tan.

"Dr. Drakken," Shego blinked. "You look…different."

"What, the outfit? The resort threw all of us deluxe package guests a farewell luau. You wouldn't believe how many super villains were staying there! I saw Monkey Fist, Duff Killigan, even Professor Dementor! We had a great time!"

"I can tell," Shego replied. "You sound great. I don't think I've ever seen you so happy and relaxed."

"That resort made a new man out of me, Shego. I feel like I've been given a new lease on life. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go unpack and settle in. First thing tomorrow we are going to get started on my new plans. It's going to be a long day, so I suggest you get a good night's sleep."

"Yes, Dr. Drakken."

-----------

The next morning after breakfast Shego arrived in Dr. Drakken's office for their meeting. Drakken hadn't arrived yet, but his plans were spread out on his desk. Curious, Shego turned them around so they were facing her right side up. It appeared to be a blueprint for a small building-some kind of store-nestled inconspicuously within a large shopping center. Whatever it was, it looked very low key, not exactly Drakken's style.

"Sneaking a peek, are we?" Drakken said. Shego looked up to respond but was struck speechless. Dr. Drakken was now wearing tan slacks and a powder blue polo shirt, and his hair was…

"Dr. Drakken! Your ponytail is gone!" Shego blurted out.

"Yes, it was about time I got rid of it," Drakken replied, rubbing the back of his head. "A ponytail on a man of my age looks rather pathetic, don't you think?"

Shego did indeed think that, but having Drakken admit it sucked any joy she would get out of saying it. "If you say so," she replied diplomatically.

"Let's get down to business, shall we?" Drakken said, picking up the blueprints. "I have signed a lease on a small store at the Middleton Mall. In that store we will open a flower shop!"

"And then what?" Shego asked.

"Patience, Shego. Right now let's focus our energy on phase one. We'll deal with phase two when the time comes. Trust me, you won't be disappointed. Now, let's get down to the mall. We're meeting the construction crew at nine."

Shego watched Drakken roll up the blueprints and stuffed them in a briefcase. She had a bad feeling about all of this. Drakken had come up with some crazy plans before, but a flower shop, right on Kim Possible's turf? Then there was the clothes and the hair…Shego wondered what had happened to him in the two weeks he was gone. Was he truly a new man like he claimed, or had he finally gone off the deep end?

At this point, all she could do was wait and see.

**TBC…**


	2. A New Leaf

The Middleton Mall was abuzz with activity, but no more so than in the space nestled between The Golden Wok and The Leather Hut. The construction crew raced around like worker bees, sawing, hammering and pasting to create…

"Drew's House of Flowers!" Drakken exclaimed as he walked amidst the chaos. "Is there anything more gratifying than seeing a plan come together?"

"About that, Dr. Drakken," Shego said as she looked over the blueprints lying on the counter. "I have a few questions about the store's layout."

"Shoot."

"It seems that the counter, the display cases and the security cameras are, well, a counter, display cases and security cameras." Receiving a blank look from her boss, she elaborated. "Where are the laser cannons? The booby traps? The doomsday device? If I didn't know better I'd say this was just an ordinary flower shop."

"That's because it is an ordinary flower shop," Drakken replied.

"Huh?" Shego was now thoroughly confused. "Dr. Drakken, how…"

"HOLD IT!" Drakken exclaimed. He stormed past Shego and over to the front window, where a worker was painting _Drew's House of Flowers_ on the pane. "I told you I wanted these letters painted in forest green! This is hunter green! Our grand opening is tomorrow! How am I supposed to take over the world when I'm surrounded by such incompetent fools?! I SHOULD DESTROY YOU ALL! I…" he suddenly reached into his pocket, pulled out a stuffed penguin wearing a Paradise Valley Resort tee shirt, and squeezed hard.

"It's okay, just chill out!" The penguin's squeaky voice cried. He squeezed the bird again, and again it told him to chill out. The entire store fell silent as Shego and the crew watched, fascinated, as Drakken squeezed several more times until he was completely calm again.

"I'm so sorry," he announced to the entire room. "We're all under a lot of pressure here, but my actions were inexcusable. You're all doing a wonderful job. Carry on."

As everyone turned their attention back to their work, Shego crossed the room to where her boss was standing. "Dr. Drakken, what is that?" She asked, pointing to the penguin he still clutched in his hands.

"My fuzzy little stress buddy, compliments of Paradise Valley," Drakken replied. "It works just like a stress ball, but much cuter. They had a wide variety of animals to choose from. I chose a penguin because they're nature's clowns." He rubbed his temple. "I think I need a break. Take over here, will you Shego? I'm going for a walk."

Shego nodded, and Drakken left the store. Though she still wanted to discuss the strange flower shop plans, she decided to let it go for now. Drakken's outburst came as a great relief to her; for a moment, he seemed like his old self again. Shego hoped it was a sign that things would soon be back to normal.

----------

"Thank you for shopping at Drew's, please come again," Shego said mechanically as she handed a customer his seeds.

"Aha! You didn't smile!" The customer exclaimed happily. He pointed to a yellow button on Shego's apron that said 'Service with a smile or 50 off your purchase!' "I believe you owe me some money."

"Ooooh, right, sir. Looks like you got me," Shego said, rolling her eyes. "Let's see, half the price of a packet of seeds comes to twenty-eight cents." She dropped the coins into his waiting palm. "Don't spend it all in one place."

Drakken emerged from the back room. "How are things going up here, Shego?" He asked. He was wearing an apron and button identical to hers, and a hat shaped like a flower pot with a daisy sticking out of it. He frowned as he noticed her bare head. "Shego, you're not wearing your hat." He said.

"Yeah, sorry about that, but I'd rather keep my last shred of dignity," Shego replied.

"Nonsense! It looks very professional! Besides, if my plan is to succeed I need everyone to give one hundred and ten percent! Can you do that, Shego? It will all be worth it, I promise!"

Shego sighed heavily and snatched the hat from underneath the counter.

"That's my little trooper!" Drakken grinned. "And now I'm off to water the petunias!" He walked away humming a merry tune.

Shego gripped the counter hard. She didn't know how much more she could take; for three days she had been selling flowers and flower products (with a smile) to a never ending parade of dopes. Her feet hurt, her face hurt, and she was wearing a flower pot on her head. She needed an outlet for her mounting frustration, and soon.

At that very moment the front door was thrown open and Kim Possible leaped into the shop, followed closely by Ron Stoppable. "Shego!" She exclaimed as she landed in a fighting stance. "Nice hat."

"Kim, you have no idea how perfect your timing is," Shego grinned. She leaped over the counter and charged Kim, only to be stopped cold when Drakken stepped in between them.

"Ladies, please! This is a place of business!" He said. "Let's all just calm down and discuss this rationally."

"You can start by telling me what you're up to," Kim said. "I gotta say, setting up shop on my stomping grounds is a pretty bold move. You must be pretty confident about this latest scheme."

"Yeah!" Ron said, grabbing a rose from an arrangement. "I'll bet you sprayed these flowers with some kind of mind control serum! One whiff and an unsuspecting customer becomes your mindless slave!" Suddenly he let out a cry and dropped the flower. "Look out KP!" He cried as he rushed back to Kim's side. "Those innocent-looking roses are armed with sharp spikes! And we're surrounded by them!"

"Darn, you found us out," Shego said sarcastically. "We're going to conquer the world with our deadly rose arsenal."

"I don't blame you kids for being suspicious, given our history together," Drakken said. "But I assure you that this operation is legitimate. If you don't believe me, feel free to look around."

"We will!" Kim snapped. "Come on, Ron."

Shego hated just standing by while her arch enemy and her goofy sidekick searched every square inch of the store. She secretly hoped Drakken had an ulterior motive for inviting them to poke around. Maybe it had something to do with the mysterious phase two of the plan; she hoped phase two somehow involved Kim and several sharp gardening tools. However, her hopes were dashed when Kim and Ron gave up twenty minutes later without having lost so much as a single limb.

"Well, everything looks on the up and up," Kim told Drakken. "But I'll be watching you! Let's go, Ron."

Ron's face was pressed against the display case. "Hey Dr. Drakken, how much for the 'Morning Glory' bouquet? My mom's birthday is next week and…" before Ron could finish his thought Kim grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the store.

"Well, that's settled. Let's get back to work!" Drakken headed into the back room, with Shego right behind him.

"Okay, Dr. Drakken, I've put up with a lot of crap these past few days, but when you let our worst enemy just waltz in and out of here like she owns the place I've got to insist you tell me what the hell is going on!"

Drakken frowned. "I'll thank you to watch your language, young lady! That is not the kind of image we want for Drew's House of Flowers!"

"Oh, enough already!" Shego shouted. "I think it's time you told me the rest of this stupid plan!"

"All right, all right, if you insist," Drakken said. "As you know, phase one was opening a flower shop. In phase two, we franchise! Drew's House of Flowers sweeps across the nation! And in our third and final phase, we go online and conquer the international market! We'll be the number one floral retailer in the world!"

"Sounds great, Dr. D., but when do we take over the world?"

"We don't," Drakken replied. "From now on, this organization is on the level. I've given up crime forever!"

Shego was dumbstruck. "What…what are you talking about?" She finally managed to spit out.

"Shego, those two weeks at the resort was the first time in years I hadn't thought about world domination," Drakken said. "I came to realize that I've wasted half my life on that obsession with nothing to show for it but high blood pressure and an ulcer the size of a baseball! So I've decided that I'm going to stop trying to dominate the world and start enjoying my life!"

"By opening a flower shop?" Shego asked incredulously.

"Why not? Everybody loves flowers! They represent all that is good and wholesome in the world! And what could be more rewarding than spreading that goodness to others?"

Shego stared at him long and hard. "You're serious," she said.

"I am, and I've never been happier" Drakken grinned.

"Well, that's great for you, but what about me!?" Shego yelled. "This is not what I signed up for! I am a mercenary! My job description includes grand theft, arson, kidnapping and mass mayhem, but not flower girl! I am not spending the rest of my life wearing a stupid flower pot on my head!"

"I'm sorry to hear that, Shego," Drakken said. "But my life of crime is over. If you can't accept that, then there is no longer a place for you in this organization."

His words hit Shego like a punch in the gut. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" She asked in disbelief.

"Yes," Drakken replied sadly. "You're fired."

**TBC…**


	3. Things Are Tough All Over

The Red Rooster catered primarily to the country element, so staff and customers alike couldn't help but notice the exotic-looking woman in green sitting alone at the end of the bar. They watched with curiosity as she drank her beer and stared straight ahead; though she didn't speak a word, the expression on her face spoke volumes.

"So, what's his name?" The barmaid finally asked her.

Shego slowly turned her head and looked at the stocky middle-aged woman in jeans and a faded pink shirt. A plastic nametag with the name FLO written across it hung from the worn fabric. "Well…Flo…what makes you think this is about a man?" She asked.

Flo peered over her eyeglasses and met Shego's hard gaze. "Honey, when a pretty young thing like you drinks alone, it's about a man."

Shego slammed her drink onto the bar. "I gave that jerk the best years of my life! Then suddenly he goes and has some kind of midlife crisis and BAM! I'm tossed aside like yesterday's newspaper!"

Flo shook her head sympathetically. "Typical," she muttered.

"He'll probably get himself a new partner now," Shego growled. "Someone young and naïve…probably blonde…and forget all about us! About what we built together!"

Flo poured Shego a fresh beer. "Well, honey, the best way to get over someone is to find someone new. Someone younger, cuter, richer than him. A girl like you can find one of those in no time."

Shego considered it for a moment. "You have a point. He's not the only one out there, is he? I could do way better!"

"Good girl!" Flo smiled.

"No too good, I hope," a man at the other end of the bar said. He and his two friends got up and strutted over the Shego. "I'm Billy Joe, and this is Billy Bob and Billy Ray. We couldn't help but overhear you conversation. If you're looking to get with a real man, I believe me and my buddies can help you out."

Shego rolled her eyes. "Thanks, but no thanks. I'm fine on my own."

"C'mon, sweetheart, don't be like that," Billy Joe said, wrapping his arms around her. "We're just what you need."

Ten seconds later Billy Joe and his friends, beaten and bruised, were strewn across the sawdust-covered floor.

"Thanks, boys, I did need that," Shego smirked as she dusted off her hands. She paid Flo for the beers, plus a generous tip, and strode confidently out of the bar. "Flo's right," she said out loud. "Who needs Drakken? With my skills and experience, the super villains will be lining up to hire me!"

----------

Shego's optimism was quickly crushed under the weight of a startling new reality. Villainy, it seemed, had gone out of style; every villain Shego approached had given up crime to embark on a new career path.

Monkey Fist had given up his castle and title to work as a custodian at a museum.

Duff Killigan was now a dog trainer.

Professor Dementor now worked at a car wash.

Motor Ed had gotten a haircut and became an English teacher.

Finally, having exhausted all of her contacts, Shego was forced to resort to a staffing agency that specialized in placing criminals with super villain organizations: McCall's Criminal Staffing. She stood in front of the doors of the office for a full five minutes, her stubborn pride preventing her from going inside. After all, temp agencies were for lackeys, not high level management like her! Finally after much debate the need for a paycheck won out and she went in, a decision she immediately regretted; the waiting area was filled with Drakken's laid-off henchmen.

Shego pretended not to notice the stares as she approached the front desk and got an application. She filled it out, returned it to the receptionist, and sat back down to wait for her interview. After a minute she picked up a magazine and began to read; except for the sound of pages turning, the room was uncomfortably quiet.

Then the henchman to Shego's right foolishly opened his mouth. "Things are tough for you too, huh Miss ShegACK!" He cried as Shego applied a vice grip to his throat.

"Listen up, people," Shego addressed the room. "As far as you are all concerned, I was never here. If anyone ever asks you about me, ESPECIALLY Drakken, I have started my own crime syndicate and I am doing very well for myself. Understand?" Everyone nodded nervously. Shego released the henchman and returned to the magazine.

"Miss Shego? Miss Lansly will see you now," the receptionist chirped.

Shego rose and walked into the interview room. She was greeted by an enthusiastic young recruiter in an expensive suit and very white teeth. "Shego? I'm April. So nice to meet you," she said, extending her hand. Shego reluctantly shook it, and the two sat down. "Now let's see," April said as she looked over Shego's resume. "Your resume is very impressive, but I'm afraid I don't have anything at this time. Things have been very slow in the super villain industry lately."

"Look, missy," Shego snarled, slamming a glowing fist on April's desk. "I know you have jobs. You know I want a job. So cut the crap and give me a job before I turn that pretty little smile upside down, okay?!"

"Well, you're a real go-getter, aren't you?" April smiled. "In that case, I might have an opening. It's in a start-up, so the pay is lower than what you're used to."

"Fine," Shego snapped. "I'll take it."

----------

_I can't believe I took this job,_ Shego thought as she listened to her new boss.

"I just want to take this opportunity to welcome you aboard," Frugal Lucre said. The two of them sat in his makeshift office in the Smarty-Mart break room. "Under my thrifty leadership we will soon bring the world to its knees! Normally I wouldn't hire additional help, but with all the other super villains throwing in the towel, henchmen are dirt cheap!"

"Whatever," Shego muttered, silently wondering how her life had come to this. "So what do you want me to do first? Steal something? Hurt someone? What?"

"I like your initiative!" Lucre smiled. "But before anything else you need to complete orientation. Watch this thirty minute video on Smarty-Mart policies and procedures." He put a videotape in the VCR.

"Why? What does that have to do with world domination?" Shego asked.

"How do you think we pay for the take-over-the-world plans? My schemes are cheap, not free!" Lucre handed Shego an orange vest and name tag. "After you watch the video, we'll fill out your tax forms and get you to work. And once again, let me welcome you to the Smarty-Mart family!"

After orientation Shego mopped the floor, restocked the cereal aisle and brought in all shopping carts from the parking lot. In her misery she found her thoughts wandering to Drakken. She tried and tried to make sense of what happened with him, but things just didn't add up. For as long as she'd known Drakken he had been obsessed with world domination; year after year, failure after failure, he never once wavered in his determination. Though she often mocked him, deep down she admired his resolve; it never occurred to her that he would just up and quit before he succeeded. She couldn't help but wonder if she was in part responsible for Drakken giving up his dream. Maybe if she had been more supportive…

Suddenly Shego snapped out of her funk. What was she thinking?! This wasn't her fault. She was nothing but loyal to Drakken, stuck with him through thick and thin, and in the end her pain and suffering was rewarded with a pink slip! She was now more determined than ever to make things with Lucre work; together they were going to take over the world, and when they did she would make Drakken her personal manservant. She couldn't wait to see the look on his face; that mental image got her through the rest of her Smarty-Mart shift. Once her day job was done, she headed back to the break room to begin her night job.

"Well, I must say you did a fantastic job today!" Frugal Lucre said. "But now the real work begins. We are going to crack open each of the registers and alter the scanners so that the light will brainwash everyone who looks at them, including the Smarty-Mart CEO when he visits this store next week! He will then have my 'new and improved' scanners installed in every Smarty-Mart in the country! Before long every person in America will be under my control! After that, the world will follow! HA HA HA HA!" He stopped and looked at Shego. "How was my laugh? I've been working on my maniacal laugh but I've never had anyone to try it out on."

"It's fine."

Lucre's face fell. "Oh…just fine?"

"It's good! Great! Worthy of the big leagues!" Shego snapped. "So, how do you plan on altering the scanners?"

"It's very simple," Lucre replied. "It's all about altering the light! And all I need to do that are rhinestones! They're on sale at Smarty-Mart for $1.99 a bag! So, Shego, I need you to buy rhinestones…using your employee discount! HA HA HA!"

"Or…I could steal some top quality diamonds. They'll last longer than rhinestones and it won't cost you a thing!" Shego said.

"Even better!" Lucre said. "Do it! HA HA HA!"

----------

Shego knew just the place to acquire the diamonds. Senior Senior Senior had a large collection of jewels; having worked for him before she knew exactly what he owned and where they were kept. Late that night she sneaked into his island fortress. It was surprisingly easy; security wasn't nearly as tight as she remembered. She quietly made her way to the den where the Monet painting hung and slipped it off the wall, revealing the safe behind it. After that it was a simple matter of melting off the lock, a breeze for a seasoned thief with super powers. Seconds later the door swung open and Shego reached inside, only to grab air. A quick look inside confirmed that the safe was indeed empty. As if that wasn't bad enough, suddenly the lights came on; Shego whirled around to find Senior Senior Senior and Junior, dressed in their pajamas, standing in the doorway.

"I don't want any trouble," Shego growled, both hands glowing menacingly. "Just give me the jewels and I'll be on my merry way."

Senior Senior Senior smiled. "My dear, I would be more than happy to oblige, if I still had them. I donated them to charity some time ago. I am in the process of giving away all of my wealth."

"Yeah, right," Shego said.

"It is true!" Junior wailed. "Father has taken away all of my credit cards! We are living like animals! I am down to my last jar of LeGoop!"

"Junior exaggerates," his father said. "We will live like regular citizens once I have gotten rid off all this wretched excess. I will use the last of my money to buy a farm; soon we will be living off the land, rising with the sun and putting in a hard day's work."

Junior looked like he was about to faint.

"But, it is taking a very long time to get rid of my massive fortune," Senior Senior Senior continued. "Feel free to look around and take whatever you want. Junior will accompany you and help carry any items to your car. You kids have fun!" With that Senior Senior Senior went back to bed, leaving Junior and Shego to stare at each other.

"So…" Shego said. "What's the deal with your old man? Is he on some new medication or something?"

"I wish!" Junior groaned. "Then there would be some kind of explanation for father's insane desire to help others! I just don't know what happened! He's been like this ever since he got back from holiday!"

"Holiday?" Shego asked. "Where did he go on holiday?"

"A fancy five star-resort where they cater to your every whim, of course!" Junior said. "I believe it was called Paradise Valley."

"Paradise Valley?" Shego echoed. At that moment it all fell into place. Drakken had mentioned that he'd seen many other super villains there during his vacation, the same villains that had become average law-abiding citizens. Now that she knew where to look, Shego was determined to find answers.

"Junior, I don't think your dad changed his tune all by himself," Shego said. "I think something fishy is going on at that resort, and I'm going to find out what!"

"You are going to a five-star resort?!" Junior exclaimed. "Oh, please take me with you! It has been too long since I've been fussed over and pampered!"

"Sorry, junior, this is business, not pleasure," Shego said. "Besides, I work alone."

"I can be useful!" Junior cried. "I can finance the whole operation!" He pulled out a credit card. "I managed to hide one card from father. Take me with you and I'll pay for everything!"

"Is that a gold card?" Shego asked.

"Platinum."

"You're in," Shego said, snatching the card. "Go pack while I make the reservations."

"Hooray!" Junior cried. "I hope I remember where I put my zebra skin thong!"

"I don't," Shego muttered as Junior dashed off. She reached for the phone.

----------

Paradise Valley put Las Vegas to shame. It was a monument to lavish spending; the lobby alone was large enough to park a 747. Even Junior, who was used to such things, gaped in wonder. After a ten minute walk the pair finally arrived at the check-in desk.

"Hi," Shego said cheerfully to the clerk. "My fiancé and I have reserved the penthouse suite. The name's Logan."

"Ah, yes," the clerk said. He rapidly typed the information into the computer. "Here are your keycards. Enjoy your stay."

"Thanks," Shego smiled. "Come on…honey?" She looked around for Junior and found him talking to a pretty girl.

"So," Junior said. "Do you come here often?" Before the girl could respond Shego grabbed him by the ear.

"Sorry, honey, he's off the market," she barked at the girl as she dragged Junior away.

"OW, OW!" Junior cried. "Stop! My ears are very delicate!"

"I'll hurt way more delicate parts of you if you don't start acting like my adoring fiancé!"

"Well, when you are like this is it any wonder that I look for love in other places?!" Junior huffed.

----------

Unknown to Shego and Junior a sinister figure was watching them through the security cameras.

"Ah, Shego," the figure hissed in satisfaction. "I knew you'd show up eventually. Soon my victory will be complete!"

**TBC…**


	4. Meet the Logans

"I could definitely get used to this," Shego said as she looked around.

The penthouse boasted a full bar, a whirlpool bath, a sauna, and a baby grand piano. Lush ivory carpeting covered the entire suite, perfectly complimenting the coral-colored leather furniture that was softer than butter. The west wall was made of glass; on the other side were the balcony and a sweeping view of the valley. To top it all off a gigantic crystal chandelier twinkled from the ceiling, its reflective light dancing across the room. Junior lay across a fainting couch and sighed deeply.

"I could stay here all day," he sighed. "But I have so much to do. Shego, should I first get the full body massage or the seaweed wrap?"

"Focus, Junior!" Shego snapped. "Call me Carrie!"

"Carrie?" Junior echoed, confused. "Have I been calling you by the wrong name all this time? I wish you had said something sooner!"

"No, my name is Shego, but here you call me Carrie!" Shego snapped. "We've been through this a thousand times! We are not on vacation, we are undercover! I'm Carrie Logan, your fiancée…this ringing any bells?!" She flashed the huge diamond-and-emerald engagement ring she had Junior buy her as part of the ruse.

"Oh, right!" Junior exclaimed. The confused look returned. "Why are we doing this again?"

"Because something strange is going on here!" Shego snapped. "Whatever it is, it's turning all of the bad guys into do-gooders! If we don't stop it there won't be a single super villain left in the entire world!"

"And this is a bad thing?" Junior asked.

"Bad for you and me!" Shego snapped. "Unless you'd rather spend the rest of your life down on the farm."

"No! Anything but that!" Junior cried. "What do we do first?"

Before Shego could respond there was a loud knock on the door. She walked over and opened it; on the other side was a smiling, fiftyish African-American woman in a peach-colored business suit.

"Miss Logan? I'm Sunny Dayes, official V.I.P. Greeter for Paradise Valley Resort!" She grabbed Shego's hand and shook it vigorously. "I just stopped by to give you a hearty hi, hello and welcome, and to give you the first of many free gifts you will be receiving as part of our deluxe package!" She reached down, picked up a fruit basket and carried it into the room.

"Uh…thanks?" Shego blinked. Sunny had moved too quickly for her to say or do anything else.

"Nonsense! That's what I'm here for!" Sunny laughed. "In fact, I would love to give you two lovebirds a grand tour of our fine establishment!"

"No thanks," Junior said. "I would rather OOOF!" He was interrupted by a sharp elbow to the gut.

"What a wonderful way to get the layout of this place," Shego said.

"Oh, yes!" Sunny exclaimed. "By the time I'm done you'll know this place inside and out!"

"Perfect," Shego grinned. "Let's go."

----------

Down in the lobby the trio piled into a chauffer-driven golf cart and embarked on a tour of the lavish facility that was Paradise Valley. They began by exploring the twenty acres surrounding the resort; as they rolled lazily across a lush and endless sea of green, Sunny chatted nonstop about all of the wonderful activities they had to offer.

"…and there are the tennis courts, with your choice of grass or clay," Sunny said, pointing to the courts on their right. "To your left are the volleyball courts, with your choice of grass or sand. All of our grass courts are seeded with Corinthian Blue…"

"That is my favorite type of grass!" Junior exclaimed.

"Only the finest for our clients," Sunny replied without missing a beat. "Our sand is imported from the Caribbean..."

"Aruba?" Junior asked.

"Barbados," Sunny said. "From the private beaches."

"This is truly Paradise," Junior said, wiping away tears.

Shego rolled her eyes. She decided it was time to steer the conversation in the right direction. "So, Sunny, this resort is brand new?"

"Oh, yes!" Sunny exclaimed. "We had our grand opening a couple of weeks ago. Already we're a huge success with virtually no advertising on our part. Most of our business comes from word of mouth, which is the best kind of advertising!"

"The buildings don't look brand new," Shego remarked. "Spruced up, but definitely not new. I'm guessing 1920s."

"Good eye, Miss Logan," Sunny said. "Yes, this facility started out as a health club for the very wealthy in 1922; it closed in 1929 after the stock market crash. Since then it's been a hotel, a rehab clinic, and a psychiatric hospital."

"A nuthouse? Really?" Shego was a little surprised.

"Oh yes, back in the '70s. They say that the ghost of one patient, Jack Cluster, still resides here."

"Ooooh, a ghost," Junior said. "How vogue!"

"Indeed. As the story goes, old Jack was a self-made millionaire who went insane after the woman he loved left him for a younger man. He spent the rest of his life here; for eight years he wore nothing but a bathrobe and fuzzy slippers. He didn't bathe, shave or clip his fingernails and toenails. They say on a clear night you can still see Jack wandering the grounds wearing that same robe and slippers, but that's crazy," Sunny giggled at her own joke.

The cart turned down a narrow dirt path, cutting through a thick cluster of trees, and came out at the lake; slowly they circled around it while Sunny pointed out various water activities such as sailing and waterskiing. Junior hung on her every word, while Shego carefully scanned the landscape looking for anything unusual. The cart completed its circle and retuned to the main building; for over an hour they wound their way through seemingly never-ending hallways. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, Shego was about to pump Sunny for more information when Junior let out a high-pitched shriek.

"Jack is here!" He cried. "I can hear his ghostly wail!"

Shego sat still and listened. "I hear it too," she said. "It's a weird moaning sound."

"Oh, that's just white noise," Sunny said. "It's pumped into every room on the premises. The sound you hear is derived from the call of the humpback whale; research shows it has a relaxing effect on humans. That's our goal here at Paradise Valley…to help you forget your troubles and just enjoy yourself."

"Funny, I didn't even notice it," Shego blinked.

"That's the whole point of white noise, dear," Sunny replied. "It affects you on the subconscious level."

"Fascinating. All of this must have cost a bundle," Shego said. "Who owns this resort?"

"None other than our founder, Lord Alfred Adderley. His family has owned this property for nearly a century. There's a painting of him hanging over the fireplace here in the main lobby, which is our final stop." The golf cart came to a halt; Sunny turned to Junior and Shego and handed them each a map. "I hope you enjoyed our little tour. I know the place can be a bit overwhelming, but these maps will make your life a little easier."

"Thanks. Say, I would love to meet Lord Adderley. I want to personally compliment him on his fine establishment," Shego said as she and Junior exited the cart.

"I'm afraid that's impossible," Sunny said quickly. "Lord Adderley is a very busy man. A very, very busy man. Running this resort is a twenty-four hour job!"

"Surely he can take a few moments to talk to me," Shego said. "That would make me very happy. You want your V.I.P. guests to be happy, don't you?"

"Of course. That's our goal here at Paradise Valley," Sunny said. She suddenly looked very warm. "I'll talk to him. In the meantime, please enjoy yourselves. And if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask!" She touched the driver's shoulder and the cart sped off.

Junior studied his map. "So many choices. But I think after that long a drive a massage is in order. My buttocks is quite numb." He looked up and saw that Shego was no longer next to him. He spotted her standing in front of the fireplace studying the portrait of Lord Adderley.

Junior walked over the Shego and looked at the painting. Lord Adderly was an elderly gentleman, with a gaunt face and a full head of snow white hair. His scrawny neck jutted out of an expensive navy blue suit, as did a pair of pale boney hands which rested on his lap. His mouth was twisted upwards in what appeared to be a futile attempt at smiling. Junior quickly lost interest, but Shego continued to stare at the painting intently.

"So…are we trying to find Waldo?" Junior asked, unable to think of any other reason for looking at something for more than five seconds.

"Did you see how nervous Sunny got when I asked to see Lord Adderley?" Shego asked. "Whatever's going on here, he must be involved. He doesn't strike me as a criminal mastermind, but appearances can be deceiving."

"So true," Junior said. "Why don't we discuss it further over a massage?"

"How many times do I have to tell you," Shego fumed. "We are not on vacation! We're…"

"I know, making the world safe for villainy," Junior sighed. "So you've said many times. But that does not mean we cannot take a little break. And if anyone needs a break, it is you."

Shego started to say something, but paused. Junior had a point. And he had a credit card with no spending limit. "Okay," she said. "But afterwards we get right back to work!"

Getting back to work turned out to be easier said than done; after the massage came facials, followed by cocktails at the pool's swim up bar. The 'little break' went on for a day, then two days. By the third day Shego had all but forgotten her secret agenda.

"That was the best shooting range I've ever been to," Shego chirped. "I can't believe they had rocket launchers! I love this place!"

"I cannot believe you are actually smiling," Junior remarked. "A happy smile instead of that twisted one that sends chills up my spine."

"Junior, you're a riot!" Shego laughed. "I'm so glad we took this vacation!"

"So it is a vacation now?" Junior asked. "You're not…"

The conversation was interrupted by a loud honking sound. Shego and Junior turned around and watched a golf cart pull up alongside them. Shego gasped when she saw the driver, the one person she never, ever expected to see.

"Shego!" Frugal Lucre cried. "So this is where you ran off too!"

"Lucre?!" Shego said in disbelief. "What are you doing here?!"

"Well, after you ditched me my plan failed, thanks to Kim Possible. I was pretty stressed out so I decided to take a vacation."

"But how could you possibly afford this place?!" Shego sputtered.

"In a word, coupons!" Lucre pulled a wad of them out of his pocket. "I got them in the mail! Perfect timing, don't you think? Well, I'd love to stay and chat but tee time is in five. See ya!"

Shego watched dumbfounded as Lucre drove off, then her face hardened into grim resolve. "Come on, Junior!" She snapped. "We've got work to do."

----------

"No more distractions," Shego said firmly as they walked down a long hallway. "I don't know how you kept talking me into doing all of that stuff…"

"It was not very hard," Junior pointed out. "Besides, the shooting range was your idea."

"Whatever. The point is, it's time I had a chat with Lord Adderley."

"Then why are we going to the mud baths?" Junior asked. They were dressed in Paradise Valley robes and slippers.

"According to the map, there's a door in there that leads to the executive offices." They arrived at the mud room. Shego spotted the door marked PRIVATE, but the path was blocked by other guests as well as several staff members. "Time to make yourself useful," she told Junior. "I need you to create a distraction."

"How do I do that?" Junior asked.

"I don't know…make a big stink about the service or something."

"But the service has been exceptional."

"So make something up! Just keep the staff busy so I can sneak into Lord Adderley's office!"

"I cannot lie! It is bad manners!"

"Fine!" Shego snapped. "Then get them to help you wash the mud out of your eyes!"

"I don't…" that was all Junior got out before Shego grabbed a handful of hot sticky mud and threw it in his face. "MY EYES! MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!" Junior shrieked as he stumbled backwards, arms flailing wildly. Immediately the staff ran to his aid; Shego managed to trip one as he ran past her, sending him flying into an occupied mud bath. While the guests gawked at the chaos, Shego slipped unnoticed through the forbidden door.

Shego found herself in a long narrow hallway. She shed the robe and slippers, revealing her green and black uniform underneath, and headed off in search of Lord Adderley's office. It took Shego nearly fifteen minutes but she finally found what she was looking for; double doors made of heavy oak with large brass handles and a brass nameplate with LORD ALFRED ADDERLEY etched into it. She quickly slipped inside.

The office was large and filled with very expensive furniture that made it look more like a sitting room than a place of business. Lush red carpeting covered the floor and several painted portraits of old people, similar to Lord Adderley's, covered the walls. To the right a pair of antique chairs and a crystal coffee table sat in front of a fireplace large enough to stand in, and to the left was a stuffed grizzly bear rearing up on its hind legs, its mouth twisted into a menacing snarl. Finally at the opposite end of the room, in front of a picture window, was a massive mahogany desk; Shego decided to start there.

Except for a telephone and a nameplate, the top of the desk was clear. Shego opened the middle drawer and saw it was empty. One by one she opened all of the drawers but didn't find so much as a paper clip. She sat back in the chair and tried to make sense of it all; Sunny claimed Lord Adderley was a very busy man, but nothing in his office indicated he did any work at all. Then again, Shego didn't know of any obscenely wealthy people who worked. Senior Senior Senior was always trying to take over the world simply because he had nothing better to do. Shego guessed Lord Adderley had a similar motive; there had to be evidence of his scheme somewhere. She checked inside the drawers again, running her hand over every corner. This time it paid off; Shego found some kind of rectangular object secured to the top of the middle drawer. She tugged at it, but it was fastened tight.

"Naughty, naughty," a disembodied voice hissed. Shego looked up and was blinded by a bright yellow light, followed immediately by a hard punch to the gut that knocked her to the floor. Shielding her eyes, she could make out a hulking figure silhouetted against the light; with a sweep of her foot she knocked the figure off balance. She jumped to her feet ready to fight and was stunned to see not the office walls but the resort's pool with a very distressed Junior splashing around in it.

"Shego!" He sputtered. "I am sorry if I disturbed you, but must you always respond with violence?!"

"Huh?" Shego blinked. She was dressed in her swimsuit. Behind her was a deck chair with a towel and a romance novel lying on it. She looked up and squinted into the bright yellow glare of the midday sun. Suddenly Shego felt an overwhelming need to sit down. "Junior...what is going on?" She asked. "How did I get here?"

Junior climbed out of the pool and grabbed Shego's towel. "How should I know?" He huffed. "I saw you lying here and came over to see if you wanted to enter the badminton tournament! The next thing I know you are flinging me into the pool! You could have just said no!"

"Sorry," Shego mumbled. "I must have been dreaming…I think."

"So, did you talk to Lord Adderley?" Junior asked. "Is he an evil mastermind or not?"

"No I didn't," Shego said. "And I'm not going to. There's nothing sinister going on here. It's just an ordinary resort."

"That is good," Junior said. "Now we can play badminton!"

"I can't," Shego said, getting to her feet. "I have to go."

"Go where?" Junior asked. But Shego didn't reply; she simply walked away.

----------

"Leaving so soon, Miss Logan?" Sunny asked. She stood behind the front desk facing Shego. "Was everything to your satisfaction?"

"Everything was great. I feel rested and renewed and ready to go back."

"Okie dokie then," Sunny said. She finished checking Shego out and handed her a small stuffed cat and a newspaper. "Here's your little Paradise Valley buddy, and today's copy of the Middleton Daily News as per your request. Thank you for staying with us!"

"Thank you," Shego replied. "You've given me a new outlook on life."

Shego walked outside and boarded the airport limo. Once seated, she opened the paper and scanned the Classifieds section. One ad caught her eye; she pulled a pen out of her purse and circled it: SERVER/BUS PERSON WANTED, APPLY IN PERSON, MACK'S DINER.

**TBC…**


	5. Hello my name is Shego

For the Droogan family, it was Mack's night. As they had on every Friday night for the past three years, Cathy and James Droogan put their two small children, Katie and Jack, in their 1986 station wagon and drove 17.3 miles from their house to Mack's Diner. The restaurant was often noisy and crowded, and the food greasy and overpriced, but the Droogans had fallen into a deep yet comfortable rut; it was to be just another ordinary night of their ordinary lives.

Or so they thought.

James opened the door of Mack's to the typical Friday night scene: servers navigating their way through a maze of tables filled with loud hungry customers. One of them broke from the pack and approached the family.

"Welcome to Mack's. How many in your party?" The server asked.

"Daddy! That lady's so white!" Katie exclaimed.

"Honey, shush!" Her mother said.

The server smiled. "That's all right, ma'am, I hear that all the time. Follow me, please." She grabbed some menus and led the family to a nearby table. "My name is Shego, and I'll be your server tonight. Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Are you a ghost?" Jack asked Shego.

"Son, please!" James said. "There's no such thing as ghosts. Maybe she has that disease that makes you allergic to the sun. What was it called, Cathy? It was in that TV movie we saw."

"We'll have four cokes," his wife said quickly.

Shego was on her way to get the drinks when she was stopped by the elderly couple at one of her other tables. "Young lady, where's our food?" The old man barked. "We've been waiting over an hour!"

"Sir, I put your order in fifteen minutes ago," Shego replied. "It should be ready in a few…"

"It's been over an hour!" His wife snapped.

"I'm sorry, I'll go check on your food," Shego sighed. She retreated to the server area, where she was safe. From the customers, anyway.

"Oh Shego," a nasally voice cried out. Shego bristled at the sound. She reached into her apron pocket and grabbed Kitty, the stuffed cat she'd gotten at Paradise Valley; a few quick strokes of Kitty's soft fur calmed her right down.

Shego turned around. "Yes, Arnold?"

"Mr. Lane," the lanky young man sniffed. "I am Assistant Manager after all. That title demands respect!"

"Of course, Mr. Lane," Shego said. "I'm sorry."

"Shego, you know you're a valued employee," Arnold said. "But there have been a few complaints."

"Complaints?" Shego blinked.

"Nothing big, mind you," Arnold said. "It's just…the way your hands glow sometimes. It really freaks out the customers."

"But…"

"Shego, yesterday you burned a plate of potato skins to a crisp!" Arnold exclaimed. "Having those guys in radiation suits here every other day is bad for business! You need to cut it out. Oh, and you need to smile more. Happy employees equal happy customers!"

"Yes, Sir! Sorry, sir, it won't happen again," Shego said through gritted teeth. She stroked her stuffed cat again. "If you'll excuse me, I have customers." She hurried back onto the floor and into a whole new set of problems.

"Where's our food!" The elderly man yelled.

Before Shego could respond another customer chimed in. "Miss, for the third time we need our check!"

"Miss, where are our drinks!" James Droogan yelled from across the room.

"Of course, sorry!" Shego yelled. Like a pro she retreated back into the service station, grabbed the food and drinks and swooped back onto the floor, dropping off the check, food and drinks at their respective tables with the fluid motion of a falcon.

At the Droogan's table Shego whipped out a pen and paper. "Ready to order?" She asked.

"I'll have the grilled chicken," Cathy said.

"I'll have the barbeque onion ring burger with a side of cheese fries," James said.

"James…" Cathy began.

"I mean, I'll have a chef salad," James said.

Shego jotted down the order. "And for the kids?" She asked.

"I want spaghetti and meatballs!" Jack declared. His little sister was silent, her little face scrunched up in thought as she stared at the pictures on the children's menu.

"Do you want a hot dog?" Cathy asked her daughter. Katie didn't respond. "How about grilled cheese?"

"MISS!" The old man bellowed.

"The grilled cheese is really yummy," Shego said. "It comes with french fries."

"MISS! MISS!"

Katie continued to stare at the menu. "Come on, honey," her mother prompted. "The nice lady is waiting."

Finally the girl spoke. "I'll…have…a…"

"MISS!"

"Excuse me for a moment," Shego said. She hurried over to the elderly couple's table. "Yes sir?"

"This meatloaf is horrible!" The man snapped. "I ain't paying for it!"

Shego looked at his plate, where only a few crumbs of the meatloaf remained. "But sir, you ate the meatloaf."

"And it was horrible!" The man snapped.

"We're not paying for this!" His wife added.

"I'm very sorry," Shego sighed. She reached for the plates, but the man stopped her.

"Don't take those! We're not finished with them!" He yelled.

"But sir…" Shego began.

"Are you deaf!" The wife snapped. "Leave them!"

Too busy to argue, Shego hurried back to the Droogans. "Sorry about that. Have you made a decision?"

"We had," Jay huffed. "Then you took off!"

"Katie, tell the lady what you want," Cathy said.

"I'll have…" Katie began.

"Hey Shego, you have two new tables," the host said as he walked past.

"Thanks, Gary," Shego said over her shoulder. She turned back to the girl. "So, what did you want?"

"I forgot," Katie said.

Shego's lips formed a tight smile. "That's okay, honey," she said. "Might I suggest the hot dog?" She grabbed a hot dog platter from the adjoining table and slammed it down, breaking their table in half. The restaurant went dead silent, except for the sound of small children crying.

-

Many hours later Shego returned, completely drained, to her one-bedroom apartment and collapsed onto her bed. Outside sirens blared and the glow of neon lights shone through the windows. It was a far cry from the magnificent fortresses she was used to, but it was all she could afford. And after what happened that day, she might not be able to afford it for much longer.

Miraculously, she still had a job, but now she would work the day shift during the slow period between the lunch and dinner rush. Arnold had managed to smooth things over with the parents, who agreed not to sue in exchange for a lifetime of free meals. Shego figured they settled because they were afraid of her; the look on their faces was the same look she's seen countless times on her victims back in her villain days. She'd also seen the look on Arnold's face, which was probably why he didn't fire her.

Shego pulled out her stuffed companion. "You want to know something weird, Kitty? Part of me enjoyed it. It felt so…natural. Makes me wonder why I went straight." She looked into the cat's eyes. "I know, I know," she sighed. "I'm romanticizing things. Villainy brought me nothing but trouble. I had a bad day, that's all. Things will look better in the morning after a good night's sleep." Shego placed Kitty on the nightstand and closed her eyes.

Hours later Shego was awakened by the sounds of someone moving around in her living room. She slipped out of bed and opened her bedroom door a crack; someone dressed in black was struggling to pick up her TV.

"What do you think you're doing?" Shego exclaimed as she burst out of the bedroom.

The thief gasped and whirled around. "Stay where you are!" A nervous teenage voice cried from behind the ski mask. "Don't make me hurt you!"

"Yeah, right!" Shego laughed. "Kid, you really need to work on your technique."

"Huh?" The thief asked.

"You don't go for the TV first. It goes money, credit cards, jewelry, and then if you have time the TV, DVD, and stereo!"

"Yeah…that makes sense," the thief nodded.

"And if you're caught in the act, you need to be way more menacing. I didn't believe you were going to hurt me for a second!"

"You didn't?" The thief said with disappointment.

"Hell no! Your voice gave you away. Your tone was 'would you like fries with that?' when it should be 'come any closer and die!' And you need a weapon! A crowbar or a baseball bat...when you're a seasoned thief you won't need 'em, but until then you need all the help you can get!"

"Hang on, I gotta write all of this down," the thief said. He looked around. "Um, do you…"

Shego went to her desk and pulled open the junk drawer. "Here," she said, handing him a pen and a pad of paper. "Now pay attention, because I don't repeat myself…"

The two of them talked all night. Before they knew it, a new day had dawned.

"Sorry, Shego, but I gotta go," the thief said, looking out at the rising sun. "My mom will be really mad if I'm late for school again!"

"Go out the way you came in," Shego said. "For practice."

The young thief headed for the window; he was halfway out before he turned back to Shego. "Thanks for everything Ms…."

"What did we talk about?" Shego asked.

"Never tell them your name," the thief and Shego said together. The two laughed. "I have so much to learn." The thief sighed.

"You'll get it," Shego said reassuringly. "Just give it time."

The thief slipped away into the dawn. Shego let out a long sigh. She knew what she had done was wrong, yet it felt so right. So comfortable and familiar…

Shego shook her head; she was tired and her thoughts were too fuzzy to sort out, so she dismissed them and trudged off to bed. What she needed now was to get some sleep; her shift started a few hours and she couldn't afford any more screw ups.

-

"Now Shego, I trust there won't be any problems today?" Arnold asked.

Shego forced a smile. "No sir, Mr. Lane."

"Good." He looked Shego over. "You look good. Just take out that stuffed animal," he said as he pointed to Kitty, who was sticking out of her apron pocket. "It's unprofessional."

"But…" Shego hesitated. Kitty was like her security blanket; adjusting to her new life hadn't been easy, and he'd gotten her through some tough times. She knew it was silly, but for some reason she felt very uncomfortable working the floor without him.

"Shego, didn't we just agree there'd be no problems?" Arnold asked in his most condescending tone.

Shego grabbed Kitty, stroking him a few times to calm her nerves before placing him on a shelf. At least she'd be able to see him while she worked; she had a feeling she was going to need his support.

Three incident-free hours later it looked as though her fears were unfounded. Work had been very slow, with no annoying customers to test her patience. The same was true for her coworkers; Arnold had been in his office all afternoon, and the only other person on the floor was Claire, a quiet teen who kept to herself. If she could have a couple of weeks of stress-free shifts like this, maybe she could convince Arnold to give her the busy shifts again. Until then she could only cross her fingers and hope that nothing stressful happened between now and then.

The bell over the front door rang, signaling new customers. Shego grabbed some menus and hurried to the front; what she found there caused her heart rate to spike sharply.

"Hello, Shego," Kim said.

"Wow! You really are working here!" Ron exclaimed. "Great, now I owe Wade five bucks."

"Yes, I work here," Shego said evenly, struggling to stay cool. "Alert the press. So are you here to gawk or eat?"

"Eat," Kim replied. "Mind if we sit in your section?"

"Not at all," Shego smiled. She led them to a table, mentally cursing her bad luck. She wished she had Kitty. "Can I get you something to drink?" She asked as Kim and Ron slid into the booth.

"I'll have a root beer," Ron said.

"Shego, why are you working here?" Kim asked.

"Gotta pay the bills somehow. Do you want something to drink?"

"C'mon, Shego, it's me," Kim persisted. "I know there's no way you would ever go legit!"

"Well I have!" Shego snapped. Her cheeks began to burn. "Don't you have anything better to do than pry into my personal life?"

"Shego, I gotta say, your attitude is really dampening my enjoyment of the Mack's experience," Ron said.

Shego paused and collected herself. She was not going to get upset. "I'm sorry, Ron," she said.

Kim and Ron stared at her incredulously. "Did you just apologize to Ron?" Kim asked.

"You're not Shego!" Ron cried. "What kind of monster are you!"

"Will you quit being a spaz for once!" Shego snapped. She needed Kitty. "I'm just trying to earn an honest living here! Now are you going to order or what!"

"Shego, you have to admit this is a little odd," Kim said. "Now why are you working here and living in a tiny apartment when you could be making a fortune as a criminal!"

"I…just…" Shego sputtered, trying to think of a reason. "I was tired of crime. I wanted a change, that's all!"

"Makes sense," Ron nodded. "After so many humiliating failures it's only natural to give up and try something else."

"I…I gotta go!" Shego sputtered. She hurried into the back to get Kitty; to her horror, she saw him in the clutches of her coworker Claire.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" She cried.

Claire stared at Shego with the look of a deer caught in the headlights. "I'm…I'm sorry Shego!" Claire stammered. "He's just so cute I had to hold him…"

"GIVE ME MY KITTY!" Shego yelled.

Claire threw Kitty in Shego's direction, but in her panicked state her aim was way off; Kitty landed in a deep fat friar and quickly sank under waves of boiling oil. Shego ran over and pulled the basket out of the friar, dumping its contents onto the counter. But she was too late; among the half-cooked fries laid a messy lump of fur and fabric. Suddenly Kitty burst into flames with a loud POP. Shego quickly pushed him into the nearby sink and turned on the tap, drowning the mini-inferno. When the smoke cleared she picked up the remains and stared at them in despair; that's when she noticed something strange sticking out of his fur. She pulled it out and upon closer examination saw it was the warped remains of a microchip. Seeing that chip stirred something in Shego; it was as if a fog had been lifted and she was thinking clearly for the first time in weeks.

Arnold ran in. "I head shouting. What happened?" He stared at the smoky mess in front of him. "Shego, did you do this!" He asked accusingly.

Shego turned around and grabbed Arnold by his collar. She lit up her other hand and raised it menacingly. "Yes, Arnold" she said coldly. "What are you going to do, fire me?"

"I…well…I…" Arnold stammered.

"Well, don't bother. I quit!" Shego let Arnold go, pulled off her apron and marched out the back door. Once in the alley she took another look at the chip in her hand; slowly that hand curled over the chip and formed a fist.

"Okay, Lord Adderley," She hissed. "You had your fun. Now it's my turn."

**TBC…**


	6. Return to Paradise Valley

"Another day, another dollar, right Pego?" Drakken cheerfully asked the stuffed penguin in his shirt pocket as he closed up the flower shop for the night. "I do so love the satisfaction of an honest day's work!" He locked the door and pulled down the window shades, unaware of the figure in the shadows following his every move.

"Come, Pego, let me show you my latest scheme," Drakken said, sitting down behind the counter. He set the stuffed bird down in front of him. "Sales of our ceramic flower pots have been lackluster at best. I have a plan that will have them flying off the shelves! Are you ready for this? Celebrity flower pots!"

Drakken reach under the counter and pulled out a pot with a man's face on it. He held it out for Pego to admire. "It's ingenious, isn't it? We put his face on every pot and make a fortune!" He paused. "It will too work!" Another pause. "I've had it with your sass! You'll eat those words when these flower pots take the country by storm!"

"Somehow I doubt that," Shego said, stepping out of the shadows.

Drakken jumped. "Shego!" He gasped. "How did you get in here?"

"The back door wasn't locked in any serious way," Shego replied. She picked up the flower pot. "Sorry, Dr. Drakken, but I have to agree with Pego on this one. Hitler flower pots are a bad idea."

"Hitler flower pots are a great idea!" Drakken said. "The key is name recognition! Everybody on the planet's heard of Hitler! Plus the release date will coincide with his birthday, which just happens to occur in the spring, which is gardening season! It's genius!"

"Uh-huh," Shego smirked. "What marketing juggernaut do you have planned for winter, a line of little flower-sized fur coats?"

"I see you haven't changed a bit," Drakken huffed. "What are you doing here?"

"Glad you asked. Dr. Drakken…"

"Drew. I'm Drew now. As in Drew's House of Flowers."

"No you're not!" Shego snapped. "You are Dr. Drakken, evil genius, and I'm your partner! You're the brains and I'm the brawn! Together we try to take over the world on a weekly, sometimes daily basis!"

"We did, once," Drakken said. "But that was a long time ago."

"It was last month!" Shego snapped. "Listen to me. We were brainwashed! You, me, and a whole bunch of other super villains! It happened at Paradise Valley!"

"Really?" Drakken said, raising an eyebrow. "Do go on."

"The owner, Lord Adderly, is behind it," Shego said. "I don't know how and I don't know why, but I'm guessing he wants to take over the world and is getting rid of the competition!"

"Indeed. So what do you plan to do?"

"I was thinking an all-out assault on Paradise Valley! We can round up all of the other brainwashed super villains. Once we de-program them they'll be itching to destroy the place! There won't be a single cabana left standing once we're through with it! But first we have to destroy those stress buddies!"

"The stress buddies?" Drakken echoed nervously.

"They're what keeps you stuck behind this counter instead of building death rays in a lab! Once they're gone nothing can stop us!" Shego reached for Pego, but Drakken snatched him up. "Give him to me." She said evenly. "Trust me, it's for your own good."

"You can't have Pego!" Drakken cried. "He's my best friend!"

"Sorry, Dr. D., but Pego has a date with the paper shredder."

"No!" Drakken yelled. He made a break for the back door but Shego quickly cut him off. He turned and ran towards the front but once again Shego got ahead of him and blocked the door. In desperation he ran back to the counter and snatched up the flower pot, holding it above his head.

"Stay back!" He cried. "I'm not afraid to use this!"

"This is pointless, Dr. Drakken," Shego said, irritation creeping into her voice. "I will get that stupid penguin! So why don't you hand it over now while I'm still in a good mood!"

Suddenly the front door vibrated with the sound of sharp banging noises. "Mr. Lipsky? It's the police," a husky voice cried from the other side. "The silent alarm was triggered. Are you all right?"

Shego stared at Drakken in shock. "I'm sorry, Shego," Drakken said sadly. "But it's for your own good."

The door burst open and two uniformed officers spilled into the room. "FREEZE OR WE'LL SHOOT!" The husky-voiced copcried, but Shego had already made it to the back door, blasted it open, and disappeared into the night.

> > > > > >

Though it was well past midnight, Paradise Valley was lit up like Christmas. Shego stared at the building from her vantage point in the tree, using her night vision goggles to study the movements of the security cameras. She grabbed the trunk for support, right in a sticky spot that was oozing sap. Shego mentally cursed and wiped her hand on her outfit. She hated using trees for cover, but it was the only spot on the grounds not bathed in bright moonlight.

Shego had come to Paradise Valley straight from the flower shop; thanks to Drakken, time was of the essence. He had probably told the cops everything, which meant she could forget about approaching any of the other super villains for help or even go back to her apartment. In fact, because of Drakken she had to go ahead with her plan that very night, and take out Lord Adderley before he could be warned.

Even though she knew Drakken wasn't himself, a part of Shego still couldn't believe he'd called the cops on her. Drakken had attempted mind control many times, but he'd never achieved the level of success she had witnessed earlier that night. It was so…thorough, like it had infected his very soul. Even if she found a way to destroy the stress buddies, would it make a difference? Would Drakken return to normal, or was he too far gone to save?

A large cloud floated across the moon, plunging the grounds around the resort into darkness. Shego quickly snapped out of her thoughts; this was the opportunity she had been waiting for. She climbed down the tree and sprinted across the lawn in a zigzagging motion to avoid the gaze of the security cameras. In no time at all she had reached the main building, scaled the wall and climbed onto the roof. Recalling from memory the layout of Paradise Valley, she casually walked over to a nearby skylight and peered into the room below. It was dark and inviting; she opened the window and soundlessly dropped into Sunny Daye's office.

Shego shined a small flashlight around the room; Sunny's office was small and tidy, with nothing that suggested it was anything other than a legitimate place of business. Shego, however, was positive Sunny was involved in Lord Adderley's master plan (whatever that was). She made her way over to the filing cabinet, broke the lock on the drawer marked A-D and retrieved Drakken's folder.

Shego's eyes widened; Drakken's file read like a hospital patient's. The first document was a biography; Drakken's life was carefully broken down and listed chronologically in one-paragraph bites, from his early years to his life as a super villain. Each of his take-over-the-world plots were thoroughly documented, including their eventual failure at the hands of Kim Possible. But it was the final sentence that caught Shego's interest:

Guest is classic example of a megalomaniacal egomaniac with delusions of grandeur, typical of your average super villain. Recommended treatment 4739GD.

Directly below that was Lord Adderley's signature.

Shego flipped through the next document; it was a record of Drakken's stay at Paradise Valley:

DAY ONE

Guest145 is loud and irritable. Summoned housekeeping to his room three times to clean bathroom, claiming that "They" were sending mutant germs to make him sick and therefore vulnerable to attack. 145 refused to elaborate as to who "They" were.

DAY FOUR  
Guest145 refuses to eat anything with flour in it, claiming that's what "They" wanted. Treatment will continue at same levels for now, but add daily facial and massage.

DAY SEVEN

Guest145 is much more relaxed, but still prone to dramatic outbursts. He threw a fit at breakfast because there was pulp in his orange juice, which nearly undid a week's worth of treatment. 145 was calmed and convinced to take a nap. Increase treatment to Level 4.

DAY ELEVEN

Guest145 is showing wonderful progress. Villain tendencies are almost extinguished. Increase treatment to Level 5.

DAY FOURTEEN

Guest145 has checked out. Paid tab in full, including mini bar. Housekeeping reports nothing missing from his room. Treatment appears to be a success.

The third and final document was labeled "Post-Treatment Report." It contained several accounts of Drakken's activities following his stay at Paradise Valley. Shego skimmed them, with one entry catching her eye:

FIELD LOG #4

145's Primary Employee (PE) quit following loud altercation. PE was the one factor that could possibly trigger 145 relapse; her resignation indicates treatment was a complete success. Expect PE to visit Paradise Valley. Description of PE has been passed to staff; when she arrives management is to be notified immediately.

Shego's pulse raced. She quickly broke the lock on the drawer marked Q-T; sure enough, there was her file. She didn't even look at it, opting instead to destroy the filing cabinet in a fit of rage. Her angry thirst for destruction having been satisfied, she calmed down and collected herself. Things were much worse that she thought; Paradise Valley had been two steps ahead of her the entire time, and if she was going to catch up every move she made from now on had to be cool and calculated. She quickly searched the rest of Sunny's office; finding nothing of interest, she left through the door and headed down the hall to Lord Adderley's office.

As she grabbed the door to his office, she instinctively stopped and listened for voices; much to her surprise, she heard not one, but two, and they sounded very familiar…

"Kim Possible!" Shego cried, slamming the door open.

Kim and Ron jumped in surprise. "Shego!" Kim gasped. "What are you doing here!"

"Same as you, I'll bet," Shego replied. "Lord Adderley is using this resort to brainwash people and I'm here to put a stop to it!"

"But…the diner…how did you…"Ron sputtered.

"I was brainwashed, I'm over it," Shego snapped. "I actually have you guys to thank for that, but never mind that now. Let's just skip our usual routine and work together to stop this guy, after which we can go back to being mortal enemies. Deal?"

Kim and Ron exchanged glances. "Deal," Kim said warily. "What do you know about the brainwashing?"

"Not much. Lord Adderley lures his victims to his resort, works his mojo, and sends them home with a complimentary stuffed animal, a 'stress buddy.' The buddies have a computer chip in them that somehow keeps the victim brainwashed. So far his victims have all been super villains, but I don't think he'll stop there."

"You're right," Kim frowned. "A lot of kids at school have stayed here, and they've been acting strangely ever since."

"Yeah!" Ron said. "Bonnie has turned into the nicest person ever! At first it was cool, but now it's kinda creepy."

"What about Lord Adderley?" Kim asked. "What do you know about him?"

"Nothing," Shego sighed. "Unless you count the portrait in the main hallway, I've never even seen him. The resort is run by a one-woman glee club named Sunny Dayes. She's definitely involved."

"Ya think!" Ron rolled his eyes. "Can't you tell us anything that's oh, I dunno…useful!"

Kim's communicator beeped. She grabbed it. "Go Wade," she said.

"I ran a background check on Lord Adderley and Sunny Dayes like you asked," Wade said.

"Good old Wade! Nice to know we have somebody we can count on," Ron said. "What have you got, buddy?"

"Not a lot," Wade said. "I can't find anything on Lord Adderley, except that he's rich. There's hardly anything on Sunny Dayes, either. The weird thing is, I can't find any record of her at all prior to 1979."

"That's it?" Kim asked.

"Sorry," Wade shrugged.

"Wow, he's good," Shego drawled. "I wish I had a whiz kid working for me."

"At least Wade is trying!" Kim snapped. "If anyone knows anything about how they're brainwashing people it's you, but so far you haven't given us anything to work with!"

"My memory is spotty, okay?" Shego snapped. "The last thing I remember was going through Lord Adderley's desk and…" Shego stopped mid-sentence.

"And…what?" Kim prompted.

Shego walked around the desk. "I found something in the middle drawer." She opened it and felt around; suddenly her face lit up. "I've got it!" she cried, pulling out a small remote control. She clicked a large red button; instantly a secret door in the fireplace slid open.

"A bit clichéd, but whatever works," Kim remarked.

The three of them entered the fireplace and walked down a long winding staircase. It took nearly five minutes to get to the bottom. What they saw was shocking; a huge computer lab, with video surveillance monitors plastered across every wall.

"Whoa," Ron whistled. "NASA has nothing on this."

"These cameras cover every square inch of Paradise Valley," Kim said. She plugged the communicator into the master computer. "Wade, can you hack it?"

"Of course," Wade said, his fingers flying over his keyboard. "But it's triple encrypted. It's going to take some time…"

"Or we could just do this," Shego said, blasting the computer with her glowing green hands. Suddenly the shrill sound of an alarm tore through the air, summoning an army of muscular Paradise Valley employees; pouring into the room, they quickly surrounded the trio.

"Nice going, Shego!" Kim snapped as she delivered a kick to a henchman's washboard stomach.

"You could use the exercise," Shego shot back as she took out a henchman with a one-two punch. "You've been looking pretty hippy lately."

"Well if anyone knows about having big hips…" Kim said as she sent a goon flying into the wall with a roundhouse kick.

"Girls, can we save the insults for another time!" Ron yelped as he ducked and dodged punches. "Like when we're not about to be pummeled!"

The fighting continued without further comment. With Shego and Kim working together, all of the henchmen were defeated in half the time. Shego waded through the sea unconscious bodies scattered across the floor and over to the computer; with a few more blasts from her hands, the alarm let out a final strangled cry and fell silent.

"Is mindless destruction your answer to everything?" Kim asked as she surveyed the mangled, smoldering remains of the computer.

"It gets the job done," Shego snapped. "Okay, so we've destroyed Lord's Adderely's operation and taken out his muscle. All that's left is Sunny and the big man himself."

"I'm afraid that won't be possible," a voice boomed over the loudspeakers. "Welcome back to Paradise Valley. But I'm afraid that this time, you won't enjoy your stay!"

"That voice," Shego gasped. "I heard that voice right before…"

Suddenly the three of them were bathed in a blinding yellow light.

**TBC…**


	7. Shocking Secrets Revealed

Drakken opened a bleary eye to the sound of his blaring alarm clock. His mind instinctively told him to destroy it and go back to sleep, but his body did what it always did; get up, shut off the alarm clock, and get ready for work. It was a routine existence, but at least it was honest.

Drakken plodded to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Staring back at him was a tired, overworked man. Like every morning, Drakken had to give himself a pep talk.

"I am a genius at gardening. No one knows more about daises and fertilizer than me. If I work very hard and stay on the straight and narrow, I will rule the world of gardening!"

From the bathroom counter, Pego looked on approvingly. Drakken turned to his cuddly companion. "Pego, I don't know what's wrong," Drakken sighed. "Usually at this point I'm good to go, but today…maybe I'll just take the day off."

Drakken looked into Pego's beady black eyes. "I know, I know, it's just that…this whole Shego thing has me so upset." Pause. "Yes, I know she's a criminal, but…that's a bit harsh, she may be a little rough around the edges, but…now see here, that was uncalled for! STOP IT!" Drakken grabbed Pego and threw him across the room. The penguin bounced off the wall and landed in the trash.

Drakken blinked a few times. "What am I doing?" He said out loud. "I am not Drew Lipsky of Drew's House of Flowers! I am Dr. Drakken, evil genius!"

He strode confidently across the room and fished Pego out of the trash. "That's right, today I am not going to the flower shop, today I am going to work on an evil scheme to take over the world! What do you think of that!"

Drakken stared at Pego. "You're right!" He cried. "I can't take over the world today! Today's the big half-off sale at the shop! Thanks, Pego, I don't know what I'd do without you!" Drakken tucked Pego into his pocket and hurried out the door.

> > > > >

Itching. The first thing Shego felt when she regained consciousness was itching all over her head. She groaned and tried to raise her hand to scratch, but found she couldn't move her limbs. She opened her eyes and looked around; she was in some kind of hospital room. Shego struggled, but it was no use; she was firmly strapped to a hospital bed, wrists and ankles secured tightly, and straps across her chest and legs for good measure. To make matters worse, to her right were Kim and Ron stuck in the exact same predicament, with several wires attached to their heads with suction cups. Shego wrinkled her brow; to her dismay, she found the source of the itching.

"Possible!" Shego exclaimed. "What happened?"

"I don't know," Kim replied. "I saw a bright yellow light, and then I was knocked to the ground. The next thing I knew, we were here. And to answer your next question, I don't know what's going on!"

"I can answer that, dear," Sunny Dayes said as she walked into the room.

"You…" Shego said. "You're the voice!"

"True," Sunny smiled. "I call it my 'Voice of Reason.' I use it when I put misbehaving miscreants in a time-out."

"Okay, we all know this is the part where you gloat and tell us about your evil plan," Ron said. "But where's Lord Adderley? I mean, this is his show. I think he'll be mad if you start without him."

"That's true, believe me," Shego said. "Besides, I have a few choice words for him."

"I'm afraid that's impossible," Sunny replied. "There is no Lord Adderley."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Ron said sympathetically. "When did he…"

"She means there never was a Lord Adderley, dingus!" Shego snapped. "She's been playing us from day one!"

"Guilty," Sunny giggled.

"Okay, I'm confused," Ron said.

"There's a first," Shego muttered, rolling her eyes.

"She means Lord Adderley is a red herring," Kim said.

"Okay, first he's dead, and now he's a fish!" Ron said. "Make up your mind!"

"Allow me to explain," Sunny said. "Many, many years ago there was a troubled young woman named Lucille Anderson. Lying, stealing, cheating at cards…you name it, she did it, and all with a horrible smart-mouthed attitude."

"Sounds like my kind of girl," Shego said.

"Don't interrupt! It's very rude! I HATE RUDE PEOPLE!" Sunny yelled. She suddenly stopped and collected herself. "Sorry, sorry…shouting is not nice, and I…am…nice! I…am…nice!"

Sunny repeated her mantra several more times. Shego and Kim exchanged glances. Finally, Sunny seemed to come around.

"Anyway, where was I?" Sunny asked. "Oh yes…one day Lucille's awful deeds caught up with her, and she found herself before a judge. Her shady lawyer convinced her to plead insanity, and she was shipped off to the Paradise Valley Psychiatric Hospital. Over the course of several years, through intensive therapy, she was reborn! She was released in the summer of 1979 an upright and honest member of society."

"The same year Sunny Dayes appeared," Kim frowned. "Somehow I doubt that's a coincidence."

"You are a smart one," Sunny smiled. "I decided I needed to make a clean break and start over, and I did it with a new name and millions of dollars that were left to me by a fellow patient, Jack Cluster."

"The robe and slippers guy?" Shego asked.

"We were in the same therapy group," Sunny said. "Eventually we struck up a friendship. We spent hours talking about how rotten people are and how we needed more places like Paradise Valley. I guess you could say Jack was the model for Lord Adderley."

"So you used your millions to buy Paradise Valley and turn it into a front for your brainwashing operation." Shego said. "How are you doing it?"

"I'm quite proud of my methods, actually," Sunny replied. "They're the result of twenty years of research. I traveled the world, studying psychology and medicine. I worked with some of the best doctors and therapists. Finally, after much trial and error, I developed a program that combined subliminal suggestion, mind-altering chemicals, visual manipulation…it breaks down an individual's defenses and reprograms them into good and decent people! What once took years of therapy can now be achieved in weeks or even days! Once the formula was perfected, I bought Paradise Valley and spent five years renovating it into the fine institution it is today."

"So how exactly does Lord Adderley fit into all this?" Kim asked.

"Buying Paradise Valley exhausted all of my resources, so I had to find investors," Sunny replied. It's much easier to do when people think you're a rich elderly white man with a pedigree. Plus, no one ever questions what you're doing."

"But the portrait…" Ron said.

"I got it at a garage sale for twenty dollars," Sunny replied.

"And no one got suspicious that Lord Adderley never appeared in public?" Kim asked.

"Of course not," Sunny said. "As his 'assistant' I handled all of his affairs. People expect nothing less from an eccentric old millionaire."

"You know, that is brilliant," Shego said. "A lot better than anything Drakken ever came up with. Need a sidekick?"

"Shego!" Kim said.

"What? Now that Drakken's traded in his death rays for gardening tools I need a new gig!"

"I am not a criminal!" Sunny cried. "Don't you see? I'm trying to rid the world of all the bad people, from the super villains to the people who don't write thank-you notes! Soon everyone will be kind, polite, upstanding members of society!"

"You're not going to get away with this!" Kim said.

"Kimberly, Kimberly, Kimberly," Sunny sighed, shaking her head. "I'm very disappointed in you. I thought we had an understanding."

"What does she mean by that?" Shego asked. Kim cringed.

"Kim and Ron paid me a visit shortly after your Dr. Drakken's stay here. Once I explained to her how we were both good guys with the same goal...making the world a better place...she jumped right on board."

"Is this true?" Shego asked Kim, incredulous. Kim looked at her feet.

"In Kim's defense, Sunny left out a few details," Ron said. "Like that she's COMPLETELY INSANE!"

"Such sass!" Sunny huffed. "That attitude is precisely why the world is such a mess! But not to worry, Aunt Sunny is going to fix you up right!" Sunny shot Shego a dirty look. "Since my conventional methods seem to have failed, I'll have to resort to extreme measures!"

"Omigosh, she's giving us a lobotomy!" Ron cried.

"Of course not! That's barbaric!" Sunny said. "I'm just going to give you round after round of electroshock therapy until you're fixed!"

"You can't be serious!" Kim gasped.

"Hey, it worked wonders for me when I was a patient," Sunny replied. "Trust me, you'll thank me when it's over."

Sunny moved over to a switch on the wall and flipped it without hesitation. Shego, Kim and Ron braced themselves, but nothing happened. Sunny flipped the switch several times but got the same effect.

"Oh dear," Sunny sighed. "I guess we missed a few wires when we made repairs to the computer Shego damaged. Back in a jif!" With a cheery wave, Sunny left.

"Shego, can you burn through the restraints?" Kim asked.

"What? You're asking me, a common criminal, for help?" Shego asked. "Not the high and mighty Kim Possible!"

"Shego, not now!" Kim snapped.

"I mean, you can't be asking me for help because you're Kim Possible! You can do anything! You're a princess! You're…"

"I'm not perfect, okay?" Kim said. "I've learned my lesson! Brainwashing is wrong no matter who's doing it to who! Satisfied?"

"Very," Shego smiled. "And no, I can't burn through the restraints, I've already tried. Don't you have some high-tech gadget that could do it?"

"I did, but Sunny took all of my gadgets, along with my communicator."

Shego looked at Ron. "What about your bald rodent-thingie?"

"Rufus is at home," Ron replied. "Poor little guy has a cold."

"Perfect!" Shego exclaimed. "The ONE time I need you to pull off one of those annoying last minute escapes…now we're going to be fried and we don't even have a dumb animal to save us!"

Suddenly the door swung open and Senior Senior Junior walked in. "Oh, I am sorry, I was looking for the Tonga Room." He turned to leave.

"JUNIOR!" Shego yelled. Junior froze. "Get over here and untie us!"

Junior hurried over and undid Shego's restraints, and then the two of them freed Kim and Ron. "May I go now?" Junior asked. "I am missing happy hour!"

"Junior, how long have you been staying here?" Kim asked.

"He came with me," Shego said. "But I left three weeks ago! Don't tell me you've been here the whole time!"

"I cannot leave!" Junior replied. "I cannot go back to father and his insanity! Here I am pampered and doted on around the clock! Here my world makes sense!"

"Sorry, Junior, but we're shutting this place down," Kim said.

"No!" Junior cried frantically. "You can't! I won't let you!" He pulled a small device out of his pocket and pointed it at the others. Shego leaped forward and knocked it out of his hand.

"Junior! Get a grip!" Shego snapped. "Paradise Valley is the reason your father is giving away all of his money! If we destroy it, he'll go back to normal and you can go home without fear of having to live like a boring, average, middle-class slob!" She turned to Kim and Ron. "No offense."

"None taken," Kim said dryly.

"Oh," Junior blinked. "In that case, I am truly sorry."

"Forget it," Shego said. "I'm used to having weapons pointed at me."

"That wasn't a weapon," Junior said. "That was my service button. Miss Dayes gave it to me in case I ever needed her assistance."

"Naughty, naughty," Sunny's voice crackled over the intercom.

Suddenly several panels in the ceiling slid open and laser cannons popped out, all pointing at them. The tips of the lasers glowed bright yellow. This time, however, Kim and Shego were ready; they grabbed Ron and Junior and dodged the blasts. The cannons continued to fire, forcing the four of them to tap-dance as the blasts hit inches away from their feet, until Shego managed to take out the cannons with several blasts of her own. With the path now clear, the four of them ran out the door.

"YOU CAN'T ESCAPE!" Sunny's angry voice called after them. "NO ONE LEAVES PARADISE VALLEY UNTIL THEY'RE FIXED!"

**TBC…**


	8. Thanks for Sharing

Shego put her ear to the door. When the alarm had first sounded following their escape the hallways had been teeming with guards, but she hadn't heard anything for the last twenty minutes. She knew she would have to make a move soon; she leaned back and weighed her options.

"Well, did you hear anything?" Kim asked, elbowing Shego's ribs.

"No I didn't," Shego snapped. "Jab me like that again and the next sound you'll hear is my foot colliding with your…"

"I can't help it!" Kim snapped. "It's crowded in here!"

"What do we do now?" Ron asked. He was pushed up against the wall. "As much as I don't want my brain fried like an egg, it can't be any worse than sharing closet space with Junior! He smells like lavender! That smell brings up some very painful memories for me!"

"Camp Wanaweep?" Kim asked.

"None other," Ron sighed.

"Oh, like I am enjoying this," Junior huffed. "A half an hour ago I was having a Swedish pedicure, now I am running for my life! I am too rich to be treated like this!"

"So file a complaint!" Shego snapped. She scowled; it was bad enough that Sunny had activated all of Paradise Valley's security measures, trapping her inside the resort, but now she was forced to share a janitor's closet with Kim, her klutz of a sidekick, and a spoiled pretty boy. Escaping Sunny's clutches was going to be a lot more difficult with them around, unless she found a way to either use them or ditch them, whichever scenario came in handy. She would have to wait and see.

"I think the coast is clear," Shego said. "Let's take a look."

She opened the door a crack; the hall was empty. She motioned to the others, and they all spilled out into the hallway.

"If only I had my communicator," Kim mumbled. "We sure could use Wade's help!"

"What? Miss Perfect can't handle some crazy middle-aged lady?" Shego smirked. "But I thought you could do anything!"

"I can beat Sunny by myself if I have to!" Kim fumed.

"That's nice, but we haven't got all night." Shego looked around, and then pointed down the hallway. "We'll go this way."

"No, my gut is telling me we should go this way!" Kim said, pointing in the opposite direction.

"Suit yourself, princess," Shego said. "Are you coming, Junior?"

Junior paled and began to back up. "No, I think I will go in the opposite direction of those vicious dogs!"

Shego, Kim and Ron spun around and saw two snarling Dobermans coming straight for them. Shego's survival instincts took over and she ran from them blindly, turning corner after corner, down one long hallway after another, their barks ringing in her ears. She burst through some double doors and into the resort's kitchen; having hit a dead end, she stopped cold and immediately something slammed into her. She spun around, hands glowing, to find herself face-to-face with Ron Stoppable.

"Whoa! Shego!" Ron cried, throwing up his hands. "We're not fighting today, remember? The truce?"

Shego powered down. "Where's everyone else?" She asked, looking over Ron's shoulder. It was just the two of them.

"I dunno," Ron said. "I was following you. Kim should have been right behind me."

Shego walked over to the kitchen door and slowly opened it. There was no sign of the dogs, or anyone else. "Coast is clear. Let's go."

"Wait, as long as we're here, how about a snack break?" Ron asked. "I'll bet a kitchen like this is fully loaded!"

"Are you kidding!" Shego asked. "We're trapped inside a crazy lady's funhouse, a crazy lady who, in case you forgot, wants to turn us into obedient little drones by melting our brains, and you want to have a picnic?"

"Hey, I never fight evil on an empty stomach," Ron said. He had already emptied the contents of the cooler onto on the table. "Let's see…caviar, frogs' legs, shark fin…ew! You'd think a fancy place like this would be able to afford the good parts of the animal!"

"You twit, those are delicacies!" Shego snapped.

"You mean rich people pay more for this junk!" Ron exclaimed. "What a bunch of suckers! Give me a tray full of nacos any day!"

"Argh! I can actually feel my brain cells dying talking to you! I don't know how Possible stands it!"

"Kim and I have been best friends since kindergarten!" Ron snapped. "But I guess friendship is a concept that's beyond your grasp! Do you have any friends at all? And Drakken doesn't count!"

"Friends only hold you back," Shego said matter-of-factly.

"Poor, poor, Shego," Ron said, shaking his head. "It's sad that you have to resort to cheap flings with super wealthy playboys for the basic human contact Kim and I take for granted every day."

"WHAT?" Shego sputtered. "Where did you get an insane idea like that!"

"C'mon, Shego, you and Junior checked into a high class resort together, stayed in the same suite…it doesn't take a genius to put two and two together. Don't be embarrassed, you guys make a cute couple. You could make it work if you tried."

Shego rolled her eyes. "PUH-LEASE! You're the last person who should be giving dating advice! Have you ever even kissed a girl? And your mom doesn't count!"

"I'm…saving myself for the right girl," Ron replied.

"Like Kim Possible?" Shego smirked.

"What! No, I…that is…her…we…" Ron stammered.

"Oh, come on, Stoppable, every guy secretly wants to hook up with their female friends. That goes double for best friends."

"We do not! How would you know, anyway? Are you a guy? No, you are definitely, definitely not! You are all woman! Believe me, I've noticed!" Ron babbled.

"What are you…ew, never mind!" Shego grimaced. "Just get those thoughts out of your head right now! I am WAAAAAAY out of your league!"

"Well, excuuuuuse me, Shego, but we can't all be billionaires!" Ron snapped.

Shego gritted her teeth. "There is nothing going on between me and Junior!"

"And what makes you think I was talking about Junior?" Ron smirked. "Maybe I was talking about some other billionaire!"

Shego balled her hands into fists. "Let's get one thing straight, sidekick! There is NOTHING going on between me and Junior! Nada, zip! I'd rather date a chimp! They're smarter and I wouldn't go blind off the fumes from their aftershave! Second, I am too busy trying to take over the world to be bothered with something as useless as romance! And make no mistake, I am going to rule the world one day soon, which means I will be able to make any man I want lick my boots, and anything else, anywhere, anytime I want it! Why waste my time chasing after these things when I can just take them!"

Ron didn't answer. Shego looked around and spotted him rummaging through the cupboards.

"Score!" Ron cried, pulling out a jar. "Peanut butter…the good 'ol standby! I'm sorry, Shego, did you say something?"

Luckily for Ron, fate intervened and saved him from the beating of a lifetime. "FUGITIVES DETECTED IN SECTION 4L!" Sunny's voice boomed over the loudspeakers. Shego grabbed Ron by the wrist and ran out the door.

----------

"Junior, do you have any idea where we are?" Kim whispered, peering around a corner.

"No," Junior replied. "There are so many hallways in this place, who can tell one from the other?"

Kim looked around. "The coast is clear. Let's go."

The two of them cautiously made their way down the hall. "I must say, I was most impressed with the way you handled those dogs," Junior remarked.

"It was no big," Kim said. "Anyone could have fashioned a dog whistle out of a bendy straw, paper clip, and an empty soda can."

"So what do we do now?" Junior asked.

"This place is locked up tighter than Fort Knox. The only way we're getting out of here is to take down Sunny, and I'd bet a year's allowance she's in the main control room," Kim said. "We have to go back to Lord Adderley's office and the secret passageway. Shego's probably thinking the same thing, so my guess is we'll meet up with her and Ron there."

"Wow, you are kind of like the anti-Shego," Junior remarked. "You are as smart and pretty as she is, but nice."

Kim stopped. She turned and looked at him. "Junior, I don't get you. Obviously you'd rather work on your tan than take over the world, or save it for that matter. So why did you get involved in all this?"

"Everyone thinks being rich is so great," Junior sighed. "But it is not."

"Here we go," Kim said, rolling her eyes. "Look, I'm not interested in some 'poor little rich boy' speech. If you're doing this because you're bored, why not take up stamp collecting?"

"That is not it!" Junior exclaimed. "You non-wealthy types are so judgmental! Money buys many things, but it cannot buy true love!"

"What are you saying, Junior?" Kim asked. Then it dawned on her. "Do you…like Shego? I mean, _like_ her like her?"

"The spark first ignited that time she tutored me in villainy, but it was here at Paradise Valley that it burst into a white-hot flame of passion," Junior sighed. "The time we spent here getting to know each other was the most wonderful time of my life. She is like a beautiful wild lioness chasing down a graceful gazelle and ripping it to shreds. I do not know why, but that is the image that comes to mind when I think of her."

"Gross, yet strangely fitting," Kim grimaced.

"Kimberly, please, I need your help to win Shego's love," Junior pleaded. "Tell me how Ron Stoppable won your heart!"

"Excuse me?" Kim blinked.

"You and Shego are so much alike," Junior said. "If a nobody like Ron Stoppable can get a girl like you, then surely I can get Shego! Just tell me how!"

"Um…I think you have the wrong idea about Ron and me, Junior. We're just friends," Kim said. "Friends. That's all."

"You're kidding," Junior blinked. "But you two are always together! And you seem so happy!"

"It's not what you think!" Kim said. "I mean, we do spend a lot of time together and we get along great, but that doesn't mean we're…look, Junior, I think you may be too…sheltered for a girl like Shego. Maybe you should try someone a little tamer, like Courtney Love."

"NO! SHEGO IS THE ONLY WOMAN FOR ME!" Junior shouted. "I only need a way to prove my love to her, and we will be together and happy forever!"

"Junior, keep your voice down!" Kim whispered urgently, but it was too late.

"FUGITIVES DETECTED IN SECTION 7B!" Sunny's voice boomed over the intercom. Kim bolted, with Junior hot on her heels.

**TBC…**


	9. End of the Line

"This is getting ridiculous!" Kim gasped as she punched out another one of Sunny's goons. "Even Drakken doesn't have this many henchmen!"

"Perhaps she has a better medical plan, maybe even dental?" Junior suggested. They were cornered in one of the weight rooms, and he was swinging a barbell in an attempt to hold of three thugs. "Can't we talk about this?" He asked them.

Kim jumped onto the back of another henchman and took out two more thugs with one split-kick. "We'll never get to the control room at this rate! We need…"

Suddenly a sharp blow to the back of the head knocked her out cold.

----------

Shego peeked around the corner. Half a dozen henchmen heading down the hall towards them, checking every room along the way.

"See anything?" Ron whispered over her shoulder, spitting peanut butter bits into her ear.

Shego gritted her teeth. "Why don't you see for yourself?" She asked. She grabbed Ron and tossed him into the hallway, where he was immediately spotted. He yelped and ran back past Shego. The henchmen gave chase; as they rounded the corner, Shego picked them off one by one.

"Hey sidekick, coast is clear!" She yelled after Ron, who by then had almost made it to the end of the hallway. Ron skidded to a halt and, upon seeing that Shego was right, trudged back. "Wow, you really are a good distraction," Shego smirked. "I'm starting to see why Kimmie keeps you around."

"Gee, thanks," Ron scowled. "So how are we going to find Kim?"

"Do-gooder that she is, she's undoubtedly going after Sunny, who is undoubtedly in the control room because there she can see every inch of this resort on the surveillance cameras," Shego said. "But of course, being her best friend you already knew that."

"Of course I did!" Ron snapped. "So…the control room is where again?"

Shego rolled her eyes. "Follow me," she sighed. "He's worse than Drakken," she muttered to himself. "I really miss that blue-skinned freak."

----------

Kim's eyes fluttered open. She found herself lying on an exercise mat. Looking around, she saw the room was empty except for Junior.

"Kimberley! You are awake!" Junior exclaimed, rushing to her side. "Are you all right?"

Kim sat up. "What happened?" She asked. "Where are all the henchmen?"

"Let's just say I convinced them to leave us alone," Junior said proudly.

"So you paid them off," Kim said.

Junior's ears turned pink. "Well…yes. Do you think Shego will be impressed by that? Or would it be better to say I fought them off single-handedly?"

"Junior, I believe honesty is the best policy," Kim replied.

"So you think Shego will like me for who I am?"

"Well…um…I…don't know." Kim admitted.

"Then lying it is!" Junior exclaimed. "Come on, let's find Sunny so you can defeat her and say I did it!" He confidently strode off.

Kim sighed and followed him. "Ron, where are you?" She muttered to herself.

----------

Sunny drummed her fingers on the control panel as she stared at the monitors. Her eyes darted from Kim to Junior to Ron to Shego. She watched as each group took out the last of her henchmen. She exhaled loudly. Those kids. What she had once dismissed as youthful indiscretions was now a full-blown rebellion. Though Kim and Ron were a big disappointment, Sunny blamed herself more than them; after all, letting children run wild all over the world, doing whatever they please without any adult supervision was just asking for trouble. She should have given them the treatment the first time they set foot in her resort.

Junior and Shego, on the other hand, were a different story.

Junior was perplexing. Usually it took one week to fix someone, two at best. Junior had been a guest for over three weeks, yet he was still the same selfish, spoiled young man he'd been when he first checked in. He was the only one in the entire resort who was not responding to her program, the one she had spent all those years perfecting. What was it about him that made him invulnerable to the most sophisticated reprogramming technique in the world? That was a question that kept her up at night.

As frustrating as Junior was, it was Shego that angered her most of all.

Shego was the embodiment of everything wrong with the world, everything she had worked so hard to eradicate. Robbing, lying, and cheating her way through life, flaunting her misdeeds in the face of authority at every turn, all without a hint of remorse. Sunny stared at the image of Shego on the monitor; that defiant stare, that cocky stride…every step was like a slap in the face.

Sunny clenched her fists. It was clear she was incorrigible. There was only one thing left to do.

Sunny reached over to a big blue button covered with a plastic lid. Flipping open the cover, she poised her index finger over the button and waited...

----------

"I don't know!" Shego groaned for the third time.

"Come on, you must have an opinion!" Ron said.

Shego turned to face him. "For the last time, Stoppable, I have no idea who would win in a fight between Batman and Spiderman!"

"Are you kidding? Batman would totally kick Spiderman's butt!" Ron exclaimed.

"I don't care!" Shego snapped. "I don't care if 'P.Diddy' is still 'Diddy' without the 'P,' I don't care how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop, and I don't care about comic books and the geeks who love them!"

"They're graphic novels!" Ron snapped. "Geez, you're not nearly as much fun as Kim!"

"You're saying Possible actually enjoys these conversations?" Shego asked.

"No, but she humors me!" Ron huffed. "It would be nice if you would at least make an effort!"

"I'm not Kim! Do not even try to compare me to Kim!" Shego snapped. "The door to Lord Adderley's office is just around the corner! Time to join the rest of us on Planet Reality!"

"Um, Shego, Lord Adderley doesn't exist, remember?" Ron said. "Now who needs a trip to Planet Reality?"

"You know, Stoppable, I'd beat you senseless, but you would have to have some sense to begin with!" Shego said. "Just follow me!"

They turned the corner and came to the door Shego was looking for. She threw it open and the two of them went inside.

"Shego, this is the mud bath room," Ron said.

"I know! Lord Adderley's…sorry, The Room-Where-All-the-Bad-Things-Happen is beyond the door marked "Staff Only." Shego walked over to the door and grabbed the knob, but it was locked.

"Uh…Shego? Is the mud supposed to do that?" Ron asked.

Shego turned around and saw that the mud was overflowing out of the baths and quickly covering the floor, with no signs of slowing down. Shego tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge. The mud rose rapidly, splashing over her feet.

"Uh, Shego, I think this is the part where we get out of here!" Ron cried.

"I don't need a sidekick to tell me what to do!" Shego snapped. Suddenly massive amounts of mud burst out of the baths like a geyser, filling up the room at an alarming rate. "Let's get out of here!" She cried.

They hurried out of the room and into the hall. With every step they took, the mud continued to rise faster than they could flee. It wasn't long before Shego switched from walking to wading to swimming. She struggled to keep her head above the mud, but mud was denser than water, and she quickly spent her energy. She found herself sinking like a rock and slowly losing consciousness…

The first thing Shego was aware of when she woke up was a very soft pair of lips locked onto hers, forcing air into her lungs. She tore away from them and sat bolt upright, gasping in deep breaths of precious oxygen.

"Please forgive me," Junior said, kneeling beside her. "Normally I would buy you an expensive dinner first, but this was an emergency!"

"Junior?" Shego blinked. She looked around; Ron and Kim were there as well. They were all sitting on top of what appeared to be a very tall trophy case, trapped by a river of fast-moving hot mud.

"Guys, we need a plan!" Kim said. "The way this mud is rising we'll be buried alive in a matter of minutes!"

Shego assessed the situation. They were in one of the resort's main hallways, with chandeliers hanging about twenty feet apart. Suddenly she had an idea.

"Possible! Follow me!" She cried. She leaped onto the closest chandelier, swung back and forth to gain enough momentum, and then jumped onto the next one. She went from chandelier to chandelier, Kim following close behind, until it brought them to the same place all the main hallways led: the main lobby.

Shego and Kim jumped on the final chandelier and looked into the lobby; though huge, it was quickly filling up with mud. Shego pointed to the other end of the room, at an enormous pair of heavy wooden double doors that marked the entrance to the resort.

"Okay," Shego said. "All we have to do is blow those doors off their hinges!"

"With what?" Kim asked. "Your energy blasts would take too long, and we don't have any explosives!"

"Yes we do," Shego said. She reached into her belt and pulled out a pair of small metal disks about half an inch thick, with a round red button in the middle. She handed one to Kim. "These babies will do the job, but they have to be activated at the exact same time."

"You just happened to have these on you?" Kim asked.

"What, you think you're the only one who carries around handy little gadgets?" Shego replied.

"Do you happen to have a boat in your belt? Because that's the only way we're getting across!" Kim said. She looked around the room and spotted the portrait of Lord Adderley hanging in its usual spot over the fireplace. "Now it's your turn to follow me!"

Kim swiftly made her way over to the portrait, using her ninja-like agility to bounce off tops of chairs and luggage carriages that hadn't been swallowed up yet, until she landed on the mantel of the fireplace. Shego landed next to her. The two of them lifted the heavy portrait off its hooks, threw it onto the mud face up, and then jumped onto the canvas. Quickly they paddled their way to the doors on their makeshift raft; once there, Kim grabbed onto the middle hinge of one door and stuck on the device. Shego paddled over to the other door and stuck hers on its middle hinge. They looked at each other, and with a mutual nod, hit the red buttons. The devices began to glow and beep furiously.

"Okay, how long do we have?" Kim asked.

"Ten seconds," Shego replied.

"WHAT?" Kim cried.

"Possible, I suggest you save your breath," Shego said as she dived into the mud. She curled into a ball so she would sink as fast as possible. Seconds later she could feel heavy vibrations rippling through the mud, and she was washed outside onto the front lawn; now that it was no longer confined indoors, the ocean of mud quickly became a very large puddle. Shego stood up and looked around; the other three had ended up outside as well.

"Is everybody all right?" Kim asked.

"I think so," Ron said. He was covered in mud up to his neck. "But you cut it pretty close. Junior and I were almost cooked!"

"I did not doubt you for a minute," Junior smiled, looking directly at Shego.

"So, Shego, ready to finish this?" Kim asked.

"Just try and stop me," Shego said.

----------

"All right, Sunny, end of the line!" Shego cried as she jumped through the doorway to the control room, both hands blazing. Ron, Kim and Junior followed close behind.

Sunny was standing in front of the main computer, wearing what appeared to be an oversized football helmet. "It's going to take more than some stupid-looking hat to save you now!" Shego snapped.

"I know!" Sunny hissed. The helmet began to glow and hum; suddenly a six foot tall robot emerged from the shadows and barreled into the group, knocking them over like bowling pins. The robot zeroed in on Shego, delivering blow after blow so swiftly that Shego couldn't fight back.

"Miserable, disrespectful brat!" Sunny cried. "They should give me the Nobel prize for ridding the world of a parasite like you! If only someone had beaten some sense into you years ago, maybe it wouldn't have had to come to this." The robot knocked Shego to the ground and firmly planted its foot on her chest.

Shego shot daggers at Sunny. "So are you going to have your robot finish the job, or do you plan on talking me to death?" Sunny's helmet glowed again, and the robot began to push its foot down harder, slowly squeezing the air out of Shego's lungs like a leaky balloon.

Suddenly the ceiling directly above them began to shake and crack. Sunny looked up in surprise, and the robot lifted its foot. Shego barely managed to roll out of the way as a much bigger robot suddenly burst through and landed directly on Sunny's robot, squashing it like a tin can. Sunny screamed as her helmet crackled loudly and threw off electric sparks, and then abruptly burned out; she fell back against the computer and sank to the floor.

The robot looked very familiar to Shego. "Dr. Drakken?" She yelled.

The robot's windshield slid back and Drakken's head popped out. "There you are, Shego! I've come to help you stop Lord Adderley and destroy this wretched place!"

"Already taken care of," Shego said. She looked over at Sunny, who was being examined by Kim and Ron, with Junior looking on. "So, how did you overcome the mind control?"

"Please, Shego, a superior mind like mine can't be manipulated for long!" Drakken huffed.

"You accidentally destroyed your stress buddy, didn't you?" Shego said.

Drakken's cheeks turned pink. "Let's just say Pego's not machine washable," he mumbled. "But never mind that! Get in! We have fellow villains to un-brainwash!" He looked over Shego's mud-covered body. "And wipe your feet first!"

"In a sec," Shego said. She walked over to the others. Sunny was staring into space, groaning and drooling. Smoke was pouring out of the helmet.

"I've seen this kind of technology in my dad's lab," Kim said. "Sunny controlled the robot mentally, with electrical impulses from her brain. When the robot got smooshed the feedback must have been like a system overload."

"So I guess it's back to the funny farm for her, huh?" Shego said.

"Guess so," Ron shrugged.

"Well, have fun explaining all of this to the cops. See ya next time." Shego said. She turned to Junior, who was looking at his feet. "Junior, it's been a blast. Thanks for pulling me out of the mud back there. I'll see you around."

Junior put both hands on her shoulder and looked her squarely in the eye. "Shego, we are fantastic together, but we must face the hard truth that it was not meant to be."

"Excuse me?" Shego blinked.

"We both know you belong with Drakken. If that giant robot leaves the ground and you're not on it, you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life!"

"Uh…" was all Shego could say before Junior put his finger to her lips.

"Please, go now!" He pleaded. "Just remember…we'll always have Paradise Valley!" With a heavy sigh, he turned his back to her, head bowed, with one arm across his eyes.

"Ooookay," Shego blinked. "See ya."

Shego hurried back to the robot and climbed inside. Moments later the boosters were activated, and the robot rose up through the holes it had created and into the sky, climbing higher and higher until it was gone.

**TBC…**


	10. Epilogue

**a/n: Well, this is it! The final chapter! Can't believe it took a whole year! This is why I usually steer clear of chapter fics (I have commitment issues). I'd like to thank all of you who stuck with this story to the bitter end and submitted reviews despite the maddening wait between updates. Your patience is nothing short of saintly! **

Paradise Valley, 2085

"Well, kids, here we are," Victor Dementor said to his two children as the hovercar breezed through the main gates of Paradise Valley.

"Yay!" Ten year old Valerie cried, bouncing up and down as high as her seat belt would allow. Her sister, fourteen year old Vanessa, did not share her excitement.

"Why did we have to come all the way out here to visit Grandpa?" Vanessa whined. "Why couldn't we have just sent him a v-mail?"

"Now, honey, it's his birthday, and you don't turn 120 every day," Victor said.

"But Grandpa is always so mean and grouchy!" Vanessa whined some more.

Victor sighed heavily. "Look, we're only going to be a couple of hours. If you can make it through the whole visit without complaining, we'll stop by the tattoo parlor on the way home."

Vanessa's eyes lit up. "Promise?"

"Promise."

The family exited the car and made the long trek from the parking lot, passing over a dozen security cameras, to the heavy steel doors that marked the entrance. Victor removed his eyeglasses and stared into a round red light to the left of the door, where a red beam scanned his retinas.

"Genetic identity confirmed," a robotic voice said. The doors slowly swung open. "Welcome to Paradise Valley Retirement Home for Super Villains."

----------

"Knock, knock," Victor said, swinging open the door to room 420. "Happy birthday, Grandpa!"

A withered old man in a wheelchair, with a black dome balancing precariously on top of his shriveled head, glared at his visitor. "Go away! Can't you see I'm busy?"

"Grandpa, you're just staring out the window," Victor sighed.

"I'm spying on the squirrels!" Grandpa snapped. "Always hanging around, gathering acorns…they're up to something!"

"Kids, don't you want to say hi to Grandpa?" Victor said.

"Hi Grandpa," the kids chorused in unison.

Grandpa snorted in disgust. "Well, aren't you all sweet and well behaved! In my day, kids were rude and disrespectful! This generation is going to seed, just like the last one!" He glared at Victor.

Victor sighed. "Grandpa, we've been over this a thousand times. Not everyone from a super villain family is cut out to be a super villain. Some of us would rather be orthodontists. Now c'mon, let's just have a nice visit. The girls have never been here before. Why don't you give them the grand tour?"

Grandpa grumbled something under his breath, but didn't protest as Victor grabbed the handles of his wheelchair and pushed him out the door.

----------

"…and that's how I almost took over the world with giant mutant rabbits," Grandpa said as the family made their way down yet another long hallway, passing the mineral baths and the ant-gravity room. "If it wasn't for Kim Possible you kids would be royalty!"

"Um, Grandpa, do you have any take-over-the-world-stories that don't end with Kim Possible foiling your plans?" Vanessa asked.

"Sure I do! I got stories where I'm foiled by Kim's daughter, her granddaughter, her cousin, her younger sister, her niece…" Grandpa said, his voice rising with every word. "Those Possibles are like roaches, always showing up where they're not wanted, ruining all my hard work! Why, if I was twenty years younger I'd…"

"Grandpa, what's in there?" Valerie cried, pointing to an elaborately carved wooden door.

Victor read the words etched into the gold plate above the door. "Super Villain Hall of Fame," he said aloud. "This looks interesting." He pushed the door open and led everybody inside.

They found themselves at the front of yet another long hallway, with digital portraits lining the walls. The family slowly proceeded down the hallway, with Grandpa pointing out each villain and gleefully dishing the dirt on them.

"That's Monkey Fist. He realized his lifelong dream of becoming a full-fledged monkey, settled down in the Amazon with a nice girl monkey and raised a whole troop of kids. And that there is Duff Killington. Heonce servedfive years in prison for answering the age-old question, what do Scotsmen have under their kilts? And there's Motor Ed…he went out in a blaze of glory trying to jump over Niagara Falls in his nitro-charged monster truck."

"Whoa!" Vanessa and Valerie exclaimed suddenly. They had come to the end of the hall, where a huge bronze statue of a slim young woman with long hair loomed in front of them, the words OUR FOUNDER emblazed across the pedestal. On either side of the statue was two more portraits; one was of a middle-aged blue-skinned man, the other a muscular young man of Hispanic descent.

"Who is that?" Victor asked as he stared at the statue, clearly as impressed as his daughters.

"That's Shego, the hero of the super villain community," Grandpa said. "Back in '05 Kim Possible teamed up with a do-gooder named Windy Dayes…or was it Wendy? Wilma? Anyway, they teamed up to rid the world of villainy, and Shego stopped them. It was the only time that one of us villains ever beat Kim Possible!"

"How did she do that?" Vanessa asked.

"Paradise Valley was once the front for Kim and Windy's sinister brainwashing operation, which would normally be fine except it brainwashed villains into becoming average, law-abiding citizens! Shego took them on and took them down! Destroyed the entire resort with a gigantic mudslide and saved the world of villainy! The place lay in ruins for years until she restored it and turned it into a super villain retirement home. That was back in 2028…or was it 2008? Somewhere around there."

"Okay, and who are those two?" Victor asked, gesturing to the portraits.

"Pretty Boy there is Senior Senior Junior, a spoiled rich kid," Grandpa said. "He helped Shego foil the brainwashing scheme. He was immune to the brainwashing because he had some..." Grandpa paused, scratching his dome. "Some…genetic quirk or something…I dunno, I forget. Anyway, Shego also got him to ponyup the dough to turn Paradise Valley into a retirement home."

"And the blue guy?" Vanessa asked.

"That's Dr. Drakken," Grandpa snorted. "Your average, nothing special, run-of-the-mill super villain. Shego used to work for him back in the day. I don't know what she saw in that lousy…"

"So where are they now?" Victor interrupted, anxious to avoid another tirade.

"Drakken and Shego disappeared when their evil lair blew up. Normally that's no big deal…back then super villain lairs were always blowing up…but nobody has seen them in nearly sixty years."

"So they were blown up," Valerie said matter-of-factly.

"Not necessarily," Grandpa replied. There were plenty of rumors…some people say Shego and Drakken fell in love and faked their deaths so they could get married and start over. Others say she ran away with Junior, and Drakken was so distraught he moped around his lair until one day he accidentally blew himself up with one of his own inventions. Junior's still around, but don't bother trying to ask him what happened. He's a total recluse…hasn't left his family's private island in decades."

"I bet Shego is with him. I bet the two got married and are living happily ever after, not needing anything in the whole world except each other!" Vanessa sighed, staring at Junior's portrait.

"Well, that does make more sense than having her end up with Drakken," Victor winced as he looked over the evil genius's portrait.

"Yeah, yeah, it's a real storybook ending," Grandpa groused. "Point is, if it wasn't for Shego and her gang of idiots villainy as we know it may not have existed today. You kids should be grateful you live in a world where if you wake up one morning and decide you want to take over the world, or build a giant robot, or alter the DNA of chipmunks so they crave human blood, you can go for it! You don't know how good you have it! Why, in my day, if we wanted a death ray, we couldn't just mosey on down to the corner store, we had to build one from scratch! And if you needed plutonium rods or any other nuclear material, you couldn't just order it off the internet, oh no! You had to go to the mafia or break into a nuclear power plant! And henchmen? Don't get me started on henchmen!"

"Okay, Grandpa, I think it's time for your nap," Victor said. He signaled to his daughters, and the three of them hurried their still-ranting grandfather out of the hall and back to his room.

----------

Ten minutes later the Dementor family hovercar was airborne and on the highway.

"That was fun!" Valerie exclaimed. "Can we go back soon? Please?"

"It was kinda cool," Vanessa admitted. "And I didn't complain once. So, how long until we get to the tattoo parlor? I was thinking of getting either a butterfly or a flaming skull."

"Oh, about that. You're not getting a tattoo. I lied so you'd quit whining," Victor said casually.

Vanessa's jaw dropped. "But you promised!"

"That's the beauty of coming from a long line of super villains. Promises mean nothing," Victor replied. "Ours is a proud heritage, girls. Embrace it."

Vanessa slid down in her seat. "Oh, I will," she hissed, already plotting her revenge.

THE END


End file.
